careyoke

5 days and nights without Eli

2009-08-06T18:52:00.011-05:00

I simultaneously want to cry, get drunk,

look at pictures of him, go out dancing,

call to see how he's doing, go karaoke-ing!!!,

stand in his room and sigh while I look at his crib, take a long shower,

think about him, run around the house screaming after his bedtime,

talk about him, pay attention to my husband, etc...

Also, he now gives kisses.

Following in Daddy's footsteps (with picture added)

2009-07-22T08:17:00.006-05:00

Eli just had his 15 month appointment, and the stats are in:

He weighs in at 28 1/2 lbs (between the 90th and 95th percentile).
He is 34 1/2 inches tall (way off the charts).

I was getting a little worried about the amount of cheese/crackers/etc. he's been eating (as in, this kid has been putting away A LOT of cheese), but apparently, he is slightly slim for his height...sounds like someone else I know...

Peanut, peanut butter, and Eli!

2009-07-17T08:05:00.003-05:00

Warning: I just re-read this and realized it is a ridiculously long story, so no need to read the whole thing (though I refuse to delete it). The gist: Though I was scared to give Eli peanut butter, his Pop-pop gave him some one day without me knowing. Now he likes peanut butter. Look how cute he is eating it (or playing with cups in the middle of eating peanut butter):

Full story: I had been deathly afraid of feeding Eli peanut butter. He had some food issues early on, as you may recall (or food issues via breastmilk), so I've been kind of worried as he's moved on to solid foods generally. But peanut allergies seem, to me, to be at this whole other scary level. I feel like every new parent is told to BEWARE of peanuts. So even though there is really no reason to expect Eli to have peanut issues (neither Josh nor I have them), I was still WAY nervous.

But Eli isn't a huge fan of a lot of protein sources (he eats LOTS of cheese, which results in really gross poops), so I really wanted to explore our option. I had the idea that I'd eventually give him peanut butter some weekday when Josh was home from work (so he could call 911/the pediatrician while I soothed Eli) and the car was gassed up and ready for a run to the emergency room.

Enter the grandparents...or, more specifically, Pop-pop: So we were at the outlets with the grandparents, and Pop-pop took Eli into Harry and David...Later we were eating lunch and I brought up how I was scared to give Eli peanut butter, and Pop-pop said, "Oh. I just gave him a sample of some kind of peanut-buttery something or other at Harry and David. I figured if it's out there for the whole world to consume, there can't be anything wrong with it." Of course. Anyway, Eli didn't die. He didn't have any allergic reaction whatsoever.

So now I thought, yay, new protein source. But then, Eli didn't like it. Argh. So I tried and tried again, and finally, yesterday, he ate (and seemingly enjoyed) peanut butter. I feel like he's a real little kid now! So here he is, happy after having eaten his peanut butter. And how the heck did I make this the longest story in the world?

Eli hearts sweeping

2009-07-15T08:15:00.002-05:00

Eli has many obsessions. One of them is brooms/swiffers/anything that sweeps. I've spent the last few months sweeping up our porch - particularly from the hours of 5am to 7am (ugh, kid, sleep later!). And it actually sometimes seems like he says something along the lines of "boom, boom, boom" to mean "broom." 9Though I don't think that's his first word. His first word was either "Dada" or "la, la, la, la, la" to mean "light," another MAJOR obsession of his - the kid can spot a light/lamp/what have you from a mile away.) Today, however, was something new. Today we took the broom for a walk. This is how it worked: in one of Eli's hands was my hand and in the other was a broom (which I was holding on to at the top). We took about the longest walk he's ever done. And, to go with the sweeping theme, a street sweeper was driving through our neighborhood at the same time. So much sweeping! Eli was in heaven.

Eli walks

2009-07-14T14:22:00.003-05:00

I tried to upload this video, but it took FOREVER! So, just go to youtube. Unless I can figure out how to embed a youtube video here in the next 30 seconds...

Did I do it?

YES!!

First steps!

2009-07-08T18:07:00.001-05:00

And, no, we have no photographic or video evidence (I actually haven't taken any pictures in a shamefully long tmie). You'll just have to take our word for it.

You know what feels a little ironic(al)?

2009-07-08T15:06:00.002-05:00

Looking for articles on parenting/parent-child relationships while your kid is screaming his head off with the (perfectly wonderful) babysitter.

Also, I may make this blog private now that I have a real job. Or I may just hardly ever blog. Or both.

OMFG

2009-05-21T14:46:00.001-05:00

I got an offer!!!

Interview

2009-05-21T08:42:00.003-05:00

I had an interview at a nearby liberal arts college yesterday for a one-year visiting asst. prof. position. And all I can say is: PLEASE give it to me! It seems like a really nice place. The other profs were really cool. The pay is fantastic (relatively-speaking, of course). There is on-site child care. It is exactly the kind of job (I think) I want - except that it's not tenure-track (I actually applied for a tt position there and didn't get it...a little awkward...so I guess they think that they may like me enough for a year but not enough for forever). Please cross your fingers, say your prayers, work your voodoo magic for me.

I mean, who wouldn't want this little face bopping around their campus, right?

Gross

2009-05-18T22:14:00.004-05:00

Eli pooped in the bathtub (and on the way out of the bathtub/on the towel) tonight. I kept imagining that was coming eventually, but after 13 months, I was sort of hoping we had escaped it.

In other news, I did the graduation thing this past weekend...I am Dr. F in every form possible. Of course, hearing all of the incredible things the other soc grads did/jobs they got made me feel very depressed about the whole thing. At least I am nice, fun, and good at karaoke, I guess.

For Mother's Day, I got...

2009-05-11T14:45:00.006-05:00

"mom" hair.

I had a really cute haircut before this, but it required that I actually take the time to blowdry it in order for it to look cute. I do not have the time. So, I went with something WAY easier, and, although it's maybe not as cute as the previous 'do, I think it's not bad. Eli kept grabbing my head for the first day after I got it cut. It was very cute.

Also, look at him GO...

and GO on his musical walker thingy!!!

I am excited and very nervous that actual walking may be happening relatively soon.

Regressing

2009-05-08T11:19:00.001-05:00

Eli has been a little "fragile" after our trip to Florida. He had a rough time with being sick, having his naps messed up, being left with a babysitter, etc. He had been almost hibernating during the day time to make up for his lack of sleep. He's also totally regressed gym-babysitting-wise. Of the four days that we have gone this week, he has gotten us kicked out three of them. The awesome babysitter on Tuesday apparently held him and sang to him the whole 45 minutes I was working out or I am sure I would have been paged then about a screaming baby as well. I am sure our pending trip to Madison for graduation will not help future gym trips. At least I can blame my chub on Eli!

Stunner

2009-05-07T15:05:00.002-05:00

I have another interview. I mostly feel like "How am I going to mess this one up?" We shall see...

Ugh

2009-04-29T09:03:00.002-05:00

Poor Eli is sick. He has been feverish the past 2 days. How awesome that his first real bout with a fever comes at the time of an international health crisis! I don't really think it's swine flu, but it's not fun anyway. We did actually go to the doctor, and there's no infection that they can see. It just appears to be a virus. Other awesome parts of this illness:

1. We are set to fly to Florida for a wedding tomorrow. Awesomely awesome! We will have him thoroughly drugged up. Wish I could be drugged up too.

2. We are not getting enough sleep. I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Not in a row.

3. Of the two things I've been told to do to take care of him, I can't get him to do one of them: drink. The kid just won't drink anything - not plain water, not apple juice, not pear juice, not gatorade. He will nurse though...so all of the advances in weaning are out the window. Blergh.

Here he is on a happier day:

Let them eat cake! Updated...in case you didn't realize it

2009-04-20T14:35:00.008-05:00

Update: BTW, forgot to add that Eli's official numbers are in. As of 4/17/09, he measured 2 feet, 8.5 inches and weighed 27 lbs, 10 oz. He was above the 95th percentile in height, weight, and noggin size. He is slightly taller than he is heavy (percentile-wise)...just like one of his parents. Guess which one.

Eli is ONE!

2009-04-13T09:02:00.012-05:00

I can't believe we managed to make it through a year together. He has changed SO much in the past 12 months (below is a pic from his first day home with us). I wonder what is in store for us next...

This past week has been nutty with him being sick, Passover, his birthday party on Saturday (see pic below), and Easter yesterday (and his official birthday). I think we could all do with a LONG nap. How about some highlights...

Eli doesn't like matzo. He does like cake (and smooshing it all over his face). (Photos to come, i hope. For now, look at how much he likes to play with combs...)

He is now attempting to do headstands (sort of - from a bear-crawl position).

He seems to have gotten over his hatred of shoes (we finally got him a pair last week).

He LURVES streamers and balloons and the swiffer. I have had to hide them from him - particularly the swiffer, which he seems to have a homing beacon on and can find it no matter where I stash it.

He got AMAZING gifts from our fantastic friends and family. I could play with them for hours myself. If only Eli were better at sharing...

Here is to many, many more wonderful years with our little cuterpie!

Self-Indulgent Weaning Post + Pictures

2009-04-02T15:25:00.013-05:00

Lately I've been thinking about how in the heck to wean the kid. I have been planning to wean at about 12 months (and now have a more solid full weaning deadline of early August b/c of a conference trip). Breastfeeding just isn't that awesome to me. I'd really like to be done with it. Eli seems to have this weird relationship with it. When he's actually eating, he spends the entire time flailing around hitting me, and if there's the slightest distraction (e.g., Joshie walks by the open door of the room where I'm nursing), Eli whips his head around to see what's going on (this has been the case since he was about 4-5 months). If the boob were that great, would every tiny little thing be that distracting? But then whenever I or anyone else has tried, he won't take a cup of booby milk (and hasn't ever really enjoyed a bottle). And sometimes he seems like he wants to be on the boob forever b/c he LURVES it.

As for cups, we've tried four different kinds. I can't say he seems to prefer one over another really. He just doesn't drink a lot of anything. The other day he drank about 4 ounces of water (in the entire day) and that was a fricking miracle. So then I feel like if I tried to substitute a cup at a feeding, that would be even less fluid entering his body (b/c he wouldn't take the cup) and if I kept doing that over time, he'd die of dehydration. What do you think?

And for those of you who don't care...

Eli is now CRAWLING and pulling himself up on everything. I think it makes him a happier baby to be able to get around on his own better (see above for a good happy baby moment). This new-found independence is scary, exhausting, and yet fun. He is so into pulling himself up that the second he gets in his crib for a nap, he's standing up. Then I put him down, and he stands right back up. And repeat. And repeat. And eventually let him cry. I still feel mostly bad about that, but, then again, if I had a kid who never napped, I think that we would have serious problems.

Here is evidence of him pulling himself up on stuff...

And again...

Here he is reading one of my rejection letters...

Look! He has actually been out of our house:

And here he is...CRAWLING while carrying toys with him!

And, already climbing stairs...he has made it up those 2 steps totally on his own...yikes!

And for those of you wondering about his relationship with Mary Hatch...still the same (and, no, that isn't a spatial perception trick like what the used in LOTR to make the hobbits look smaller. They are sitting right across from each other. He is just that big.) He'll learn eventually...

Poor sickie-pooh

2009-03-17T08:26:00.004-05:00

Poor little Eli is such a mess! He is teething and sick simultaneously. I know that teething is possibly associated with a little fever and other ills, but this cold/cough seems to be serious in addition to the screaming from the tooth pain. Poor little guy! But he's actually been quite a trooper considering the snot and the phlegm and the drool and everything else he's dealing with. And, although it's much harder to tote him around at 27 lbs than it was at 10-15 lbs, it's kind of sweet that he wants so many huggies lately. He actually fell asleep in my arms for the first time in a million years yesterday. Okay, he hasn't been alive an entire year, but it feels SO LONG since that last happened. Here he is trying to smile even though his eyes are watering and he can barely breathe.

In other news, we took Eli to a St. Patty's Day parade on Saturday. He was not impressed with the bagpipes or the dancers or the fire trucks or Mr./Ms. Teen Delaware or the old fashioned cars or the marching bands or the mummer-like folks (including the group led by Teen Wolf's dopperlganger). Nope. He just liked the big bunches of balloons that people were selling. And cotton candy. Just like his mama. Of course, like idiots, we forgot the camera. So it looks as if Eli has never done anything in his life but sit on a colorful alphabet mat, but it's still cute, right?

Happy 11-month birthday, Eli!

2009-03-12T14:29:00.008-05:00

OMG. Eli is almost a year old. How did that happen? I feel only slightly more competent as the caregiver of a child after 11 months with him. Why are there not better instructions on how to do this?
He is doing really well. He remains a giant. He has actually pulled himself up from sitting to standing using the coffee table (at least twice). He still can't get from lying to sitting. Not sure when that'll happen. He also can't crawl but he will sometimes pull himself across the floor military-style (like he's crawling under one of those rope nets or something) if there's something worth his while. So far, water bottles and our High School Musical box of tissues are about the only things deemed worthy of the effort. He can play peekaboo, do "so big!" (though a little inconsistently), and "lay keppe" (which means "lay your head down" in Yiddish - well, keppe is Yiddish).

He is eating more foods now too. He survived DAIRY! We are planning an ice cream cake for his birthday (mostly b/c it'll be Passover - poor kid! I bet that's going to happen to him a lot and it's going to S-U-C-K! - but partially b/c I haven't attempted eggs again after the barf incident. Though I think wheat is okay.). What I really need to do now is get better about getting him more appropriate finger foods so he can do some more of the work.

I am sort of starting to wean him too (or, rather, I'd really like to be done with the boobs as soon as possible after he turns 1). But that's not going awesomely. In an ironic twist, the kid who had such issues with the boob early on never really took to the bottle and still isn't awesome with a cup - after quite a few weeks of him getting one at least 3 times a day (just with water though - he is icked out by juice. Weirdy.). I don't know how I'm ever getting him off the boob. I was planning on giving him a cup of boobmilk for one of his regular feedings but I don't produce very much in the middle of the day (when I was thinking of doing it). So I don't seem to be able to pump a good amount for a serving (though who knows how much he gets when he usually eats then anyway). So I thought I'd try formula. I used some stuff they gave us at the hospital. He didn't like it, and I tried it and it was GROSS! I think the dha/ara stuff in it made it taste like fish oil (which I remember from puking up my prenatal vitamins a few times - also gross). No wonder he was not into it. So...I am going to try again today. And give him the almost 3 oz I just pumped and call that good enough.

Oh...I think I hear him now...wish me luck!

BTW, here's one of his girlfriends again, Mary Hatch. Notice how she's putting the moves on him...

Puke

2009-02-25T09:45:00.002-05:00

Poor Eli just puked his breakfast up all over himself/his highchair/the floor/me (a bit). He was NOT happy about it. I am not too happy about it either. He seems okay now, but I am still shaking from it. It was SO MUCH puke. Maybe he is sick? Maybe it's the egg yolks we just started? Either one would suck. I've been so nervous about solid foods with him b/c of the bloody poo issues he had in the past. I thought he had grown out of it, but maybe he just has a new way of manifesting food issues. Awesome. And so, so gross.

Actual post about sociology/statistics*

2009-02-18T10:17:00.005-05:00

I am annoyed. I keep reading article after article where people do statistical (usually regression) analysis with, what seems to me, no regard for cell size. I have been trying to get a paper published, and people have pointed out to me issues of cell size in my analysis (granted, I am working with a very small data set, so I get it. It's an issue more than it would be for those using larger datasets.) This experience has made me VERY CAREFUL in all my other work about cell size. What I mean by cell size is that (for those of you who don't know but have continued to read this far for some reason), when you look across all of your variables, particularly your dummies, you don't want to have instances in which you have only one or two (or a few) cases representing a particular group. For example, let's say you are examining different ethnic groups by generation. You might enter into your analysis a set of variables representing each ethnic group and and a set of variable representing each generational status (1st, 2nd, 3rd+). Except wait! Ethnic group membership and generational status are highly associated. And, in fact, in this one paper I am reading right now, there are NO people of Asian origin in the 3rd and later generation, and yet, the dude includes variables for different Asian origin groups and for generational status the omitted category is 3rd+ generation. Isn't that a problem? What the heck?

In other news...Eli LOVES making a liar out of me and is being SO GOOD lately. I mean, he still has his moments, but he has been less cranky in general. Also, he has smiled AND giggled for the Y babysitters. He has apparently impressed them so much that they've taken pictures of him for possible inclusion in a Y brochure. So the kid who got me kicked out of that place 3-4 times may now be advertising for them. I knew his baby modeling career would start somehow. I am expecting him to pay the bills. I mean, come on, if someone is going to do it with their looks in this family, it's got to be him...though we are rather attractive...(don't mind the date on the picture, we have not been traveling through time. No clue how my in-laws camera decided that was the correct date.)

So the latest on the job market...just had a phone interview at the school that's not in the awesome location...If they offer me an in-person interview, I'm going to have to say no. It seems like a nice school, but I don't think there'll be other Jews around for 100 + miles.

* I'm sorry.

10 months old

2009-02-12T16:13:00.009-05:00

Today is Eli's 10 month birthday. How time has flown! Time seems to be flying even more post-PhD-completion for me. I don't know how I feel like I have less time now that I've finished. Weird. (Could it be b/c of...Eli? No!)

So, here are some updates...no job still for me. Or Josh, as for Sept. 2009. But I have a phone interview with a school on Monday. I don't know much about the school, but we're maybe not incredibly keen on the location. But who knows? I also have a couple apps still out - including one (soon to be more) for postdocs. Please Lord, let something happen for me/Josh soon. It is scary to think that we have no source of income as of Sept. 2009. Parents, prepare your basements.

Also, I have new cute hair, but no pictures. I am sure you will adore it.

Now...what you all came for...Eli updates (here he is being coy):

Still can't crawl/pull himself up/go from lying to sitting (but is quite good with the Cheerios now). Also, still crazy. We have recently joined the Y (FREE BABYSITTING!!!), and I've been going regularly. The only problem is that Eli is not a fan of the babysitting/"Kids' Zone". He's not really a fan of anyone but me and Josh (as evidenced by the fact that my father-in-law is currently changing Eli's diaper, and he is SCREAMING like it's a second circumcision. It is not.). I have actually been paged from the workout room at the Y three times (out of about 12 Y visits) to get him out of Kids' Zone b/c he wouldn't stop screaming. So now I have to face the fact that I am totally the mom that people dread seeing approach them. I am SURE those kind Y babysitters are thinking, Ugh! I wish Eli's mom would stop being so dedicated to her health! Maybe she'll hurt herself and won't be able to come to the gym anymore. One can dream.

It's the same in our neighborhood too. Whenever I take him for a walk, he inevitably screams in the face of some neighbor trying to smile/coo at him. He scared a little 2-yr old girl in our neighborhood so much (and so often) by screaming in her face every time he saw her that the last time we bumped into her and her mom, the mom said, "Look, Lily, it's Eli. Now, remember what we talked about..." I was like, I'm SO sorry! He is a crankypants! (Though he does enjoy being held upside down/thrown in the air/etc.)

But just so I don't complain about him constantly...Eli also met two baby friends recently. One, he was obsessed with. She could stand and walk. Very impressive. She was not equally impressed with him and instead stole his toys.

The other was Mary Hatch to his George Bailey, if George Bailey were a screaming banshee.

I have no nice way to tie things up, so that is all I have to say about that. I will try not to ignore you for so long next time.

Seriously. This economy stuff blows.

2009-01-21T15:22:00.003-05:00

I just talked to someone at a school I applied to and, though the search hasn't been cancelled, it sounds like it's been put on some serious kind of hold. It also sounds like the job may morph in some way when it is out of this holding pattern. I am thinking it might not be tenure-track anymore or something. I said, I picked a great year to finish. She kindly pointed out that things are going to continue to be sucky b/c there will be a backlog of qualified people from this year, and, therefore, even under better circumstances, more people per job than usual for several years to come. Awesome. I barely had it in my to finish. Do I have it in me to work my butt off for some publications just to maybe, possibly be able to get an academic job in a few years? Not to mention issues of money, possible additional children, and Josh wanting to get to do something he actually likes.

But look...Eli is cute...and "crying" has maybe worked (though I refuse to say it has definitively b/c I don't want to jinx things...I probably just did), although it actually involved a lot less crying than ever occurred when we used to go in his room to "soothe" him back to sleep. Apparently, we cause crying. Also, maybe it was too cold for him.

Oh, and in other news, Eli is over 9 months old now. He weighs approx. 25.5 lbs and measures close to 31 inches. He is still off the charts, but he's a little slow in terms of moving around - nothing close to crawling, pulling himself up to stand, or getting himself from lying to sitting. We are currently working on said skills as well as the "pincer" grasp - the last skill with the aid of Cheerios. We are officially a family: there are mutilated Cheerio bits everywhere you turn.

Exhausted

2009-01-09T09:31:00.002-05:00

Not an exciting post, but just in case you care to know...

I am having no luck on the job market. I just found out I wasn't even shortlisted at a school that I had high hopes for (I interviewed with them at ASA. It was a good interview. The position fit me really, really well. They encouraged me to apply.). Argh. So, I may just be unemployed next year (and we may just possibly end up back in DC but who knows???) - though Eli will certainly keep me busy, busy, busy.

Speaking of Eli...the poor kid is sick. I think it's just a bad cold, but he has a little bit of a fever. We're going to the doc in an hour or so. Josh is also starting to come down with something, and I can't begin to imagine how I'll avoid it. Eli has basically been covered in snot for 48 hours. And that means I'm covered in snot. This morning he actually took his hand, which had been in his mouth (which, of course, is directly under his nose and therefore covered in snot), and stuck it in my mouth and grabbed my teeth. Then he coughed directly into my open mouth. I will be very impressed with my immune system - especially since it's running on 9 months without sleeping through the night (okay, add an additional few months to that for the last trimester of pregnancy but subtract the one glorious month in which Eli did sleep through the night). Last night, of course, was particularly bad. I can't even begin to count how many times he got up. It was basically constant. We are waiting for him to be well again before we institute some changes that will hopefully result in better sleep for us all. And, yes, after 9 months, those changes are going to involve some crying. I really hate for it to come to that, but I am obsessed with sleep and a super-duper cranky-pants, an that's not good for anyone.

Nap cut short with a scream so no time for a picture!

You have to see this! Oh, and happy New Year!

2008-12-30T18:51:00.002-05:00

Hope you enjoyed the holidays and have a wonderful New Year. Our plans are to...wait, we have no plans. I don't even think we want to attempt to stay up for midnight, although we have caught up on a tiny bit of sleep since a Hanukkah miracle occurred the past 2 nights in which Eli slept through most of the night for the first time in a L-O-N-G time. He woke up twice, but got back to sleep on his own one of those times. So I only got up once to feed him on each of the past 2 nights. Glorious! Especially after he got up over 6 times on Christmas Eve, Christmas, and Boxing Day nights. Ugh.

But anyway, I really wanted to share this picture with you. I hope it brings you lots of joy in the New Year!

Thank you! You are the best!

2008-12-23T10:07:00.006-05:00

In the spirit of the holiday season, I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of my wonderful friends and family for being so supportive of me over the years and especially over the last several months. You are all really, incredibly awesome. I owe you all long-overdue thanks for SO VERY MUCH. For listening to me complain endlessly. For reading my dissertation (blech!). For helping me out on my many trips to Madison with rides/places to stay/baby stuff/etc. For acting like you are interested in all the minute details of life with Eli. For help and advice with job market stuff (which, if you're interested, lately is turning out in the always-a-bridesmaid-never-a-bride kind of way). For help and advice with Eli. And, most of all, for being such awesome, fun friends and family. So thank you. I hope you all enjoy your holidays, whichever ones you celebrate and however you celebrate them.

To help you celebrate, here are a few failed attempts of a picture of Eli appropriate for a holiday card. Whoops! Too bad his awesome shoes came off before the picture-taking began.

Though he still looks pretty awesome.

Totally officially done!

2008-12-11T14:01:00.005-05:00

Tara successfully deposited my diss for me on Thurs and turned in my check. So that means...the nine and a half years of pain are over! Eli and I wore Bucky Red to celebrate (see him below.) Now if I could just get a job...Speaking of, I had an interview at a very nearby school (as nearby as you can get) last Monday. I thought it went really well - except for my talk (I just had to give a sample methods mini-lesson). I swear that I sounded like that Miss USA/America contestant who referred to "the Iraq and such." Ugh. I am haunted by the idea that I sounded like a total idiot after doing so well otherwise. But...maybe I am too hard on myself...maybe not.

In Eli news...I haven't told you much about him lately. I guess the most recent big thing is that he can clap - though I can't seem to capture it on film (below is as close as it gets). Good timing! He learned it just in time to give his mama a sitting ovation for finishing her diss!! Oh, and another thing is that two teeth are coming in. These have involved more screaming than the first two and they're still not all the way through the gums yet (one in particular is taking it's sweet time).

Eli survived our trip to Madison - though he had to sleep (I mean "sleep") in bed with us b/c apparently the pack and play we borrowed was the WORST thing that could have ever happened to him EVER! No idea why he hated it so much.

Otherwise, life is weird now that I don't have to be working on the diss all the time. I am trying to catch up on everything that I've been putting off the past however many months/years. And I still can't quite shake the guilt of not doing any work. I have told myself I have off until January, but then I should try to do SOMETHING with the diss during Eli's naps. But for now...REST and FUN (as much as possible). And, just to show you an adorable outfit...here is Eli dressed to the nines for Thanksgiving (I am dressed in his drool):

Defended

2008-12-05T09:11:00.002-05:00

I successfully defended my diss on Wed. I need to strengthen my conclusion chapter and that's it. Of course, I need to do it ASAP to get it deposited before the end of next week - and I have an interview Monday. But THEN...I am taking a BREAK!

Ummm...I'm done. Really?

2008-11-19T10:17:00.008-05:00

I just sent my committee my final diss draft (pre-defense). Weird. It is actually incredibly anti-climactic b/c I am just sitting in my house quietly while Eli is sleeping (TG) with no one to shout/scream/dance around with. But ahhhhhhhhh! It's over. Mostly. Just the defense and then whatever they make me do to revise it. Please Lord, let that not be very much.

I guess my celebration will be Eli's new-found smileyness. Seriously, this kid is now crazy for the camera. I can actually make him stop crying (momentarily) if I take out the camera and aim it at him.
Of course, putting something on your head helps too.

Special thanks to these folks (and my incredible in-laws who take so many pictures of their own that, like a jerk, I don't bother to take my camera out when they're around!) who have made this all possible. Oh, Eli is excluded from the special thanks. He is special in a different way.

Not motivated at all

2008-11-05T11:10:00.003-05:00

Where does one find the motivation to keep working on one's diss when no one will give her comments? Here's the situation: I gave my committee a full draft of my diss 2 weeks ago, according to the schedule I devised with G. I expected to have some comments, at least from somebody, on Monday. I got nothing. Now I have two weeks to revise before turning the final draft over to my committee. And, I gotta tell you, I do not care to do any more work on it. I fixed up the appendix tables that were messed and now...I just don't care. I feel like I could do a bunch of stuff, and then they'll have comments and stuff I have to change anyway at the defense. Maybe if I work on it more now, I'll actually preemptively fix some of that stuff up, but then again, maybe not. Also, I've got this kid, see, who wants a lot of attention. And I want to give it to him. What would you do?

(I had to show you that pic from Rosh Hashanah. Totally irrelevant, but, come on, he's wearing a sweater vest!)

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-02T10:55:00.009-05:00

It was our first Halloween with Eli and our first time ever giving out candy. And apparently, people are bussed into our neighborhood for Halloween. It was crazy. We ran out of candy twice (I ran out to get more). I think the whole deal - and the hoards of people - overstimulated Eli, but he was really a good sport about the whole thing (see above).

We took him outside for a photoshoot with Cousin Mark before the craziness occurred. He is wondering why we did this to him:

We were trying to get a shot of his tail and his face and he wasn't being very cooperative. In fact, he had an uncanny knack of turning exactly when Josh took the picture. See below:

Cousin Mark is probably not a fan of this shot, but it gives you a good overall view of Eli as Eeyore (whoops, I spelled it wrong in the last post).

Here, he is admiring Mama's holiday spirit (orange shirt).

He also admired Daddy's orange sweater and was thankful to be part of a family of dorks.

And, finally, what I think it the cutest picture of Eli so far...not in costume but earlier the same day:

Are you dying from too much cuteness?

Update: Milestones

2008-10-31T08:24:00.004-05:00

the only way i can post is to do it one-handed so excuse the typing.

a long overdue update...

eli can FINALLY roll over and he sits up quite well too. this really means we have to be way more vigilant. case in point: first trip to an urgent care place when he dove out of his stroller when josh was trying to feed him. he was doing this in the stroller b/c we were out of town for my interview (more on that later). i called between talking to profs to discover that they were on their way to see a doc about eli's poor little head. ack! but he is totally fine. it was just a nasty bump on a table...and then a flop on the floor. poor kid! of course, he cried far less for actual pain then he does when we try to get him back to sleep in the middle of the night.

eli is doing grown-up poops (sort of). this is b/c he is now doing pretty well with solids. not a fan of bananas, but he does like pears and apples. and so far, no black poo - though i know i ate some soy while on my interview. we'll see what happens.

eli weighs about 24 lbs and is about 30 inches long. hopefully he still fits in his Eyeore costume! (pix to come)

my interview went reasonably well. i felt like everyone was very poker-faced about it all. i thought it was a really nice school, and the best thing was that everyone said that got along. i'd definitely go there if i got an offer...we shall see though. my job talk and class were not the best ever, but maybe i charmed them by spilling breastmilk all over the empty office where the let me pump. yes. seriously. i did just that. wouldn't you want me in your dept?

and, finally, i have officially scheduled my diss defense: dec 3 at 1pm. wish me luck in fixing stuff up beforehand.

now naptime for eli and worktime for me!

update: forgot to tell you about the awesome babbling. he totally says "mamamamamama." i love it!

O.M.G.

2008-10-03T14:05:00.002-05:00

I have a job interview. Holy, holy, holy crap. It involves a job talk AND teaching a section of intro to sociology. Some time in late October/early November. ACK!

This is good, of course, but ACK!

Also, I am trying to plan my diss defense for early December - and THAT ALONE was freaking me out with all the stuff I have to do. Ack ack ack ack...ACK!

UPDATE: Biggest blowout yet

2008-09-17T09:44:00.004-05:00

Eli, with Froggy, pre-poo (looking badassedly very Turtle-from-Entourage or Sopranos-ish):

OMG. Seriously. It got on EVERYTHING - including me and my clothes. I just had to give him a bath. I couldn't get his outfit off him without spreading poo everywhere - all over his back, arms, legs, etc. Thankfully, none of it was black though!

Eli, looking somewhat sheepish, post-poo:

Update: Dear Lord, there was a second blowout of seriously large magnitude. I managed to save the mat he was lying on (unlike the kick and play chair earlier) b/c I jumped up and grabbed him the second the 42 minutes of farting began. I gave him a sponge bath this time b/c it wasn't quite so bad. Here he is in his third outfit today thinking, Who, me? The only consistent part of today's outfits: the orange socks, which managed to survive all the poo unscathed. Also, he has been wearing a hoodie in every one. We like hoodies, okay?

I have been ignoring you. I am sorry.

2008-09-15T08:06:00.004-05:00

Things have been completely nutty since our move. First, of course, was the move itself. Then was the breast infection. And, as an aside, let me say that I am going to try my darndest to avoid antibiotic use while breastfeeding from here on out b/c I totally think it dried me up. But now that I am done with the antibiotic, it is as if my body is overcompensating and I am a fountain of milk. Literally. All day long. Night time is worst/best (depending on your p.o.v.).

Along with all of this and various visitors/travels of our own, Eli is having a health issue again. He had more blood in his poo. This is complicated by the fact that the old ped hasn't sent us his records yet (even though I requested them over a month ago! - I was told they are going out in the mail today...we shall see) and we have been kind of insurance-less for a week or so (though we could get COBRA, it just costs $1300, so it's probably cheaper just to pay for the ped visit rather than get it). Anyway, we have another appt today (and the insurance is in effect now). It's a blood test to check for anemia. I've only noticed blood in the poo twice on Wed, but they want to make sure it hasn't been happening more often leading to anemia. And now we have an appt with a GI specialist in a couple of weeks as well. So far, I don't think they know what the deal is. The last ped said it was intestinal bleeding. This doc doesn't think that's the case b/c the blood is black. It's more indicative of an ulcer, but he's on Prevacid for reflux, so that should be preventing ulcers. Lovely! So, hopefully we figure it out soon/there is no more black poo ever again.

In other news, he still can't roll over, but he is officially teething. He is Mr. Crabby Patty about the whole thing, so it's hard to tell if he's sad about black poo or tooth owies. I think it's the tooth, actually. (The bib is for teething-induced drooling and chewing.)

Off to the doctor...but first, here's us in front of our new place!

Moving

2008-09-05T13:54:00.002-05:00

Things that have made moving and settling in way more difficult:

1. Having a baby
2. Getting another breast infection. Poor lefty!

Things that make moving and settling in a lot easier:

1. Wonderful friends
2. Incredible family members

Someday, when I have all these boxes out of the way, I'd like to show you a picture of our new place. It is great. We love the neighborhood, and, so far, Delaware feels like a little piece of heaven. Everyone is SO nice, helpful, friendly. I don't remember being struck by this as a child, but after our years of city living (and less than a week living here), Josh and I are convinced that Delawareans are particularly awesome folks.

Also, I have found incredible tomato pie, which is Philly-style cheeseless pizza, only way better. So take that, dairy and soy allergies!

Another one down

2008-08-25T07:34:00.008-05:00

So I sent in another application and am hoping to get a few more in this week before we make the big move to DELAWARE on Saturday. I am totally excited to live in Delaware - as is Eli, who is very excited to live near Grannie and Grandpa (see above pic) - but incredibly freaked about the actual move. Some lovely friends have promised to help - and I even have a designated baby-helper - but I foresee this whole thing messing with Eli's Highly Important Nap Schedule (though it's not really consistent enough to call it a schedule - he just needs to sleep pretty much between every feeding or he is a real pisser, see pictorial example of Highly Important Nap below) . Anyway, I think we already have a move MVP. My sister Tina helped us pack ALL DAY yesterday and is coming to help on Saturday too. Thank you, Tina!

Tina also threw us a going away party this weekend. It was a whole lot of fun. It was on the roof of our building, which made it handy for Eli's Highly Important Nap Schedule . Also, I got to see some of my friends who are moms (and moms-to-be) with their babies. This past week has been all about new babies. I had a visit from Ari and his family (see pic below - Ari is 6 weeks and weighs about what Eli did at birth! I can't believe Eli has grown that much!). And then on Sat I was hanging with lots of babies (and buns in th oven) and their parents (and, like a dumbass, I have no photos of it). And it was awesome - especially when the babies all did a simultaneous tummy time. Too cute! Anyway, my friends kept making fun of me for complaining about how Eli is a crazed lunatic b/c he was pretty much an angel the whole time. And I thought to myself, you know, if this is how you're going to make a liar out of me, kid, that is awesome. Do it more!

Also, there was a little 13 month old there for a while who was pretty much exactly Eli's size (he's small for his age). It was so incredibly disconcerting to see an Eli-sized kid walking around
instead of flopping around on the floor (see pic below). Also, he touched Eli on the nose and Eli spazzed (take that, you doubters! - ask Tina for corroboration). But later when Alena (who is 5, right?), who has a baby sister who is just a couple of weeks older than Eli, was petting Eli's hand, he was just fine. Maybe Alena just has mad baby skillz - and a fabulous party dress!

In other news, Eli was a serious pooper yesterday. I think it's b/c I ate nuts. He had 3 major blow-outs. During one of them, he pooped in our bed. Josh tried to hide the third one from me, but I, of course, noticed my child was wearing a different outfit (and Tina noticed the poop on the armpit of Josh's shirt - no idea how it got just on his armpit and nowhere else). No more nuts for me. (Pic below is outfit he pooped in on Saturday - well, pre-full outfit but we had to try on the shorts to make sure they fit and then we thought he kind of looked like a frat guy with the preppy shorts, no shirt, and beer/boob belly so we had to take a picture.)

Ok, I just spent way too long on that, but hopefully you found it as entertaining as I did!

One down...

2008-08-14T13:34:00.007-05:00

countless numbers left to go. I just turned in my first job application. Ack. Ack. Ack!

I am too busy to do much of anything else, but here's a very quick update:

- Eli is 4 months old now.

- He weighs 19.5 lbs and measures 28" long. He is fast approaching half my length. Jeesh.

- He is getting much better at sitting up (though he still can't roll over). And he should be a Juicy Couture model.

- He now only likes sucking my/Josh's fingers. It's about the only way to get him to nap (although it takes 15 mins of sucking to get him to go down). He hates pacis and isn't too fond of his own fingers (PLEASE make a liar of me, child!).

- He has discovered his feet.

- He has an awesomely dorky laugh, but today for the first time I got some true giggles out of him. Adorable!

- He likes when I sing the alphabet while doing the letters in sign language (though he still won't smile for the camera).

- He doesn't want me to finish my phd or get a job (see, for example, part about how he won't take a nap without sucking on my fingers).

Blergh.

2008-08-08T15:26:00.004-05:00

So, you want to know how the Boston trip went? It was horrible. Well, the train rides were horrible. (Actually, I think it was all pretty suck-tacular for Eli. And mostly sucktacular for Josh since he was on baby duty all the time). Eli cried a substantial part of the way up and the way down. I think he cried more intensely on the way up (for about an hour non-stop), but he cried more consistently (ever hour to 1.5 hours or so) on the way down. Breastfeeding was no fun at all on the train, so on the way home we had a couple of bottles ready. At least that made things SLIGHTLY easier for me.

I did have 4 job interviews. Three of four of them went really well. During the last one, I was kind of like a blithering idiot. I was very repetitive/bs-y sounding and actually ended responses to questions with something like, "And that's all I have to say about that." Sorry I stole you line, Forrest Gump. Of course, that job seems really cool...we'll see what happens, I guess!

Since I've been back I've been doing job market stuff in earnest. It scares the pee out of me. I have most of the materials put together, but I am having a heck of a time with my first cover letter. Eli is not helping matters, of course, especially since he's now getting up TWICE a night (with the last feeding usually being followed by some kind of whiny session that pretty much means that there's not much sleep happening after 5am these days). So now I'm REALLY tired and my brain works even less well than it did in Boston. Awesomely awesome.

And the final blerghy thing of the day is that it's Friday, and I was all looking forward to an evening with my Joshie. However, his stupid work has to take over our lives YET AGAIN (though, in reality, I've been REALLY lucky and I know it could be much worse - but I think it has been worse since Eli's arrival), and he won't be home until late. I am single momming it again tonight then. Thank God that we are moving to Delaware soon (except that it means we have some serious packing to do) and this job will be a thing of the past!

Eli is coping by doing Kick and Play until he has a spazz attack. Seriously. The kid plays on that thing until he's whining crazily loudly and almost crying, and then I take it away and he gets REALLY upset. What to do? I guess never let him Kick and Play to begin with, but he likes it so much (and it occupies him for a while so I can get work done)!

And that's all I have to say about that.

"Um, wha?" says Eli.

2008-07-30T07:24:00.005-05:00

So, I guess I finished a draft of my conclusion chapter yesterday. Huh? It didn't really strike me then as much of anything b/c it was really kind of short and wasn't that painfully difficult. Of course, it's just the very first draft, so I am sure it will get more difficult. But it just struck me that all of a sudden and without much fanfare...I have a draft of my ENTIRE DISSERTATION. Now if someone would just read it...(And if I'd just work on the tables/fill in some cites/do my references...) then maybe I could be done with this thing!

Here is Eli clapping for me:

Yet again Eli makes a liar out of me

2008-07-29T12:21:00.006-05:00

Eli seems to have lost all of his thumbsucking skills. He is back to sucking his hand and various combinations of fingers, but rarely, if ever, does he suck his thumb. He also is more into his pacifier than before. Of course, this is fantastic timing b/c I seemed to have misplaced all by one of his pacifiers. Whoops!

Anyway, really I just wanted to post a picture and I better do it fast b/c he is due to eat any minute (and the growth spurt seems to FINALLY be finished - although the middle of the night feeding session is still going strong). So here he is going to town on his fingers (I am sure toes will be coming next):

Song requests

2008-07-23T07:22:00.002-05:00

For some ungodly reason, we decided it would be a good idea to train to Boston with Eli for ASA. It's only EIGHT HOURS after all. Maybe it is the lesser (the least?) of the possible evils, but still, we are very nervous about how this is going to go. On a good day this kid screams for 15 minutes during constant rocking and vacuum sounds before drifting off for a much-needed nap. I hope the train sounds mimic vacuum sounds, or at least there is a constant noise level that helps calm him down.

Other things that calm him down/entertain him are songs with hand gestures that I/we can do. He is a big fan of "itsy, bitsy spider" and "where is thumbkin?" (is that just a British one? - it's a take on "frere jacques"). "Patty cake" is okay "Do your ears hang low?" is a little too much for him. Does anyone out there have other suggestions? It's as much for Joshie and me as for Eli. And we'll ALL be appreciative.

In other news, the three-month growth spurt seems to be lasting longer than anyone ever said it would. We are 2 days way from the two-week mark. So can it even be called a growth spurt? Basically, Eli eats every 2 hours during the day. Then when it's bedtime, he screams his head off and we have to force feed him - which, of course, is really impossible with the boob (last night he totally refused). Then he wakes up in the middle of the night ravenous (no matter how much he ate at the last feed) and goes to town for 20-40 minutes before passing out for a couple more hours. Ugh.

Uh oh...I hear sucking sounds from the other room again. Time to feed the baby!

Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles!

2008-07-18T11:18:00.002-05:00

Just turned in another (revised) chapter draft to the advisor. He is on vacay for a while, but I couldn't bring myself to do anymore with it. I just want it out of my face. So that's three chapters he has (and, for these latest versions, no comments from him yet...). So just one chapter to go! Of course, that one (the discussion/conclusion chapter) doesn't exist at all and, dear Lord, it is a scary one, but at least the slightest inkling of a light at the end of the tunnel maybe just got a teeny, tiny bit brighter.

Now to do some job stuff...PUKE! Ok, I think I'll wait till Monday for that. Instead, I will spend the weekend taking it easy (at least to the extent that Eli lets me). I wish I had a burrito partner to celebrate with me...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

2008-07-17T16:36:00.003-05:00

THUMBSUCKING!

Actually, Eli has found his thumb from time to time in the past (and continues to have problems finding it consistently still), but the truly miraculous thing was that I managed to capture it on film. It just looks so cute!

I am a major proponent of thumb-sucking, much to my dentist father-in-law's dismay (actually, I think it's my mother-in-law who is more opposed to it maybe). Anyway, I don't care if the kid needs braces (ask me again when I get the bill, though). A lot of kids do whether they are thumb suckers or not. I am just happy that he has a way of calming himself that doesn't require my or Josh's fingers or something that can get dropped/lost. Also, I'm happy he gets to know the joys of thumbsucking, one of my most favorite past times from days gone by (though probably fewer days gone by than you'd imagine. I sneaked that thumb of mine for years.)

Happy (belated) 3 month birthday, Eli!

2008-07-14T12:57:00.006-05:00

For his birthday (see pic above of Eli in his birthday suit, RDRR!, with Aunt Tina blocking his bits and pieces - thanks, Aunt Tina, for giving him a bath!), Eli actually gave us a couple of treats:

1. The first middle of the night feedings for a while,
2. An incredibly crabby mood generally (note Eli in full red-faced screaming mode below*),
3. Lots of extra feedings,
4. 20 minutes non-stop SCREAMING in the car on the way to the grocery store, and
5. Extra laundry due to the most serious diaper blow-out to date, involving poop all over me and our couch.

We gave him:
1. Cow's milk (via breastmilk), b/c I am an idiot and didn't read a food label for the first time since I started this stupid dairy- and soy-free diet (this probably helps explain his incredibly crabby mood),
2. Extra feedings,
3. Lots of hugs accompanied by vacuum cleaner sounds, and
4. A few "what is wrong with you?!"s.

Here's hoping for a good 2nd quarter (and 3rd and 4th quarters) of his first year!

*Why do I keep looking over the top of my glasses like that? It is so annoying!

Don't have much time but...

2008-07-09T08:22:00.006-05:00

Eli is napping, so I (as usual) am trying to get work done. And (as usual) I get easily distracted. Anyway, I am so obsessed with looking at other people's blogs, it only seems fair to update my own on a relatively regular basis. Here's a quick photo to tide us over:

It's Eli sitting in his beach chair that his proud grandparents bought him. Maybe some day it will actually see beach use. Hopefully he still fits in it when he has better neck control (notice Josh lingering right off camera to catch him when he starts to lean...)

Also, b/c I can't resist...here is Eli sporting a family heirloom (seriously, they have been around since Josh's childhood and even withstood a serious cleaning out of the dresser that housed them).

Then we all had to model them.

Doesn't Josh look like Dr. Gonzo (was it him?) from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? I just thought of that.

I, however, look hot in them. Don't you agree?

Back to the beach

2008-07-03T06:34:00.006-05:00

I didn't even get a chance to post anything about the beach yet and now we're going back (sort of) spur of the moment this weekend. So it must have been a good trip. Yes! Though Eli was not a fan of the beach. Here we are, in his SPF tent, where I suspect he will not be spending much time for the next year or so. Maybe Eli will start his love affair with the beach the summer of '09. (I, however, am kind of in love with the SPF tent. I wish I could wear one all summer long.)

And here he is passed out in the tent after Scream-Fest 2008 Beach Edition.

Notice he is not in his swim trunks. They were a little tight and taken off him soon after we got to the beach. He also did not seem to be a big fan of extended hat wearing. Sigh.

Vacation!

2008-06-20T15:38:00.004-05:00

Ahhhh! Tomorrow, we are heading for the beach. For an entire week, if Eli can handle it. We are going to the OC (of the East Coast) to Josh's parents' place. They'll be there and his sister too. I am incredibly excited to pass Eli off whenever I feel like it. Actually, I'll be lucky to get any time with him the whole week besides feeding considering how his grandparents are SO incredibly into him. But that'll be okay. Maybe I finally won't feel guilty about not paying enough attention to him and I actually plan to take some work with me. Hopefully I can take advantage of the extra help.

Speaking of work...I turned in a draft for my second diss chapter today. G is supposed to get the intro chapter back to me today...I'm thinking that's not gonna happen. Doesn't matter all that much at this moment though as I have another one to work on while I'm out of town/when I get back. It just feels good to be getting a tiny bit farther along. I hope there aren't too many more drafts after this round...

So, no posting till I get back, I imagine. Here is one of Eli in his special sun hat to tide you over until you get to see him in full beach gear (imagine this hat plus bulging belly and matching swim trunks!!! Perhaps minus the insane expression. He gets so mesmerized by the stupid camera! And, yes, that stupid outfit says "Lil slugger" and has baseball playing bears all over it. It also is always falling off one of his shoulders like he's in Flashdance or something. But I'm saving the good outfits for our trip. Evidence to come...)

No more drama

2008-06-18T19:34:00.003-05:00

So, of course, as soon as I say that breastfeeding is going well, there has to be SOME sort of drama, right? Here's what happened: Friday at about 5am, post-feed, Josh changes Eli's diaper and notices that his poo is black. Hmmm...what does that mean? The book says, Your baby probably had an iron supplement. Um, no, he didn't. Then it says, If not, call your doctor. We fire up the computer and read that it's possibly blood in his stool.

So...to make a long story short...we finally get a dr's appt. He did have blood in his poo and is diagnosed with colitis. I am told it's probably b/c of milk protein in my diet and that I should cut dairy out. Um, I've been doing that for weeks. So then we decide maybe it's soy, which I had cut out for two weeks but then recently added back in. Of course, previously, I'd been eating milk and soy and never noticed black poo before. But who knows. So now I can't eat much of anything. Also, we cut out the probiotic supplement we'd been giving him. Josh and I are kind of convinced that he is being pissier lately b/c of that. Awesome. So it's either colitis or colic that we get to deal with. Eli's poo, however, is back to normal, we discovered at a follow-up/regular 2 month appt on Tues, so at least something is working. And his dosage of prevacid has now been doubled b/c he is even more officially a GIANT. He is now 16 lbs, 1 oz. (We were told he is the size of an average 6 month old. Dear LORD!...however, he was 16 lbs THREE oz on Friday, so now I am freaked a little that he's losing weight...I am crazy, I know!) Anyway, maybe the double prevacid is helping. He has been screaming less today - though he did a serious spitup this evening. Argh.

Also, he got 5 vaccines (only 4 shots though) on Tuesday. He was NOT happy. Poor kid! But, to make him feel better, we put him in this ridiculously cute outfit. Not sure it helped him, but it helped me!

And, here's another picture. I initially was not a fan of this outfit. I have tried to make things gender-neutral for Eli, but when people give us gifts, there's not much I can do. But, OMG, this outfit kills me. He looks so fricking cute. If he didn't hate having clothes put on him/taken off of him, I'd just play dress up with him ALL DAY!

Happy 2 Month Birthday, Baby Eli!

2008-06-12T10:03:00.006-05:00

We've survived two entire months! Whoa! And I think things are getting...dare I say it...a bit better breastfeeding-wise and crying-wise generally. His post-feeding screams are not as bad as they were. Actually, they are much better, for the most part. And I can even nip them in the bud on occasion if I catch him starting to spazz early enough.

He still has crying jags at other times in the day, but I think I have discovered that he has been sleep deprived or something. Either that or he is now hibernating for the summer. He's been sleeping quite a bit during the day lately (and doing quite well at night too so far - we are LUCKY with that). I have decided that if I see a yawn, it's time to put him down. If he's crying a bunch, I go with vacuum sounds until he falls asleep in my arms and then swaddle him up good and put him down. I actually managed to turn in a newly revised dissertation chapter draft to G yesterday. It was a miracle (hopefully such a big miracle that I don't have too much more to do with it...please...). A different chapter's revised draft is due next week. We'll see if I can repeat the miracle.

When he's not sleeping...he's looking dapper like this:

Back to Eli though...he is doing some smilies from time to time. I can never seem to catch them on film/video though b/c he is MESMERIZED by cameras. So you'll just have to believe me.
He has also learned to stick his tongue out at me or something. Sometimes he does that instead of smilies, it seems. I got him to follow a rattle and a set of plastic keys with his eyes all over the place. That is new and exciting even if it doesn't sound like it is! He is still a giant. We think he weighs about 16 lbs. That is INSANE. He is pretty much fitting into 6 month clothing already. We'll find out for sure about his weight next week at the pediatrician.

Here is the closest picture to a smile that I've got. Also, he looks like a football player, which cracks me up. I suppose in baby world, he is of football player stature, but it is weird to think that Joshie and I could produce anything football-y at all:

Does that look like a smile?

We are going on our first overnight visit this weekend to Grandma and Granpa's in Delaware. It's just one night so it'll be practice for our 10-day (if Eli can handle that) trip to the beach the following week. Then there'll will be FOUR people to look after him at all times in addition to me. Ahhh! That will rock!

Here he is in his birthday pj's right after doing some really great smilies...

Fast becoming the most played track on my itunes...

2008-05-28T09:17:00.002-05:00

10 minutes of vacuum sounds by Pediasleep. So far, it is up to 63. Of course, as of today, I decided to keep it in constant play, but I have the sound turned down on my speakers until there is an actual spazz attack. It really is too difficult to move the cursor to hit play when you have a screaming baby in your arms.

BTW, breastfeeding is...maybe a little better? Went to the breastfeeding center on Friday and that was helpful. At least I feel like I am not messing up my kid's life/making him hate me b/c of our problems.

In other news, I, like AK, am back to work this week. I took 6 weeks - federal government standard leave. Of course, I only managed to work 1.25 hours yesterday. So far today, .75. It sucks!

In much better news, Eli had his first (non-gas-induced) smiles on Friday! They are awesome. They also have renewed my energy towards breastfeeding/soothing his screaming/etc. Pix when I have more time.

Not sure I can take breastfeeding anymore

2008-05-22T13:46:00.002-05:00

So, I've had breastfeeding problems from the beginning. I've seen various lactation consultants, talked to the pediatrician multiple times, and yet still, it sucks. It has sucked for different reasons over the past (almost) six weeks. The latest (and this has been happening for the last few weeks) is that the kid eats on one boob and then screams his head off. Sometimes he screams at the end of the first boob. Other times he screams if I try to reintroduce the first boob or introduce the second boob. Either way, every single feeding session is incredibly unpleasant. The pediatrician said he has reflux. We have him on some medicine that is kind of a pain to give to him - b/c of the cutting the pill into quarters/dispensing it correctly from the stupid syringe thing (he actually seems to like the taste once we give it to him). Anyway, he's only been on it for a couple of days, and it's supposed to take two weeks to reach full effect. So far I am noticing NOTHING. No improvement whatsoever. And it sucks so bad that, every time I feed this kid, he screams and screams at some point like I am hurting him/there is nothing more in the world that he hates than my boobs. I just don't get it. I thought breastfeeding was supposed to (at least at some point) be a beautiful experience. It has just been torture. But I can't give up now b/c what if that stupid medicine actually works? That would be a fricking miracle.

GIANT

2008-05-16T08:14:00.003-05:00

We had our one-month pediatrician appointment yesterday. We learned what we already knew (for the most part, though the actual numbers make it even more dramatic): we have a giant on our hands. Eli weighed THIRTEEN POUNDS AND SEVEN OUNCES. His weight, height, and head circumference were all in the NINETY-SEVENTH PERCENTILE. Dear Lord. The pediatrician and nurse were in awe of his colossal glory.

He is also a crazy pants. He screams during many a breastfeeding session like someone is trying to kill him* but he barely made a peep when he got another Hep B shot yesterday. Seriously. He was so quiet that I didn't even know that it had happened. Cuckoo!

Here's our little giant in one of our fave outfits all ready for bed...

*We had a GLORIOUS feeding session, however, at 3:15am today. Maybe he is getting better at it/I am getting better at it and things will continue to get better...I hope!

Happy Birthday, Baby Eli!

2008-05-12T08:23:00.006-05:00

Eli is now one month old. Here is a picture of him in his birthday suit (almost). Notice what a chubster he is (he is on Joshie's lap, so you understand the scale better).

I am utterly exhausted. We have a new breastfeeding problem every day/week (though he certainly does not seem to be starving. See picture above). This week's problem: I seem to be overproducing milk. I think I could feed all the babies in the world. I find myself spraying milk out of me like a maniac. I have accidentally squirted Eli in the face several times during feedings. He is NOT a fan of that. I am giving him just one side at each feeding to fix the situation - and have been doing that for several days. So far, it's not helping yet, but I read it could take a week or more for it to effect milk production.

Yesterday was my first Mother's Day ever. I got a card from Joshie/Eli. It was sweet. Then we all went to CVS (a drugstore) to celebrate and bought a lot of candy. CVS is, sadly, my most common outing with baby. What I really wanted for Mother's Day was a nice breastfeeding session. I didn't get it. Maybe that will be a birthday present he gives himself today? I did, however, give myself the gift of putting Eli in a ridiculously cute hat for our outing (see pic below). I also had two lovely visitors on that Special Day. Adam brought flowers and baklava (yum!) and Monica brought us dinner (delicious Indian food!). (So far, Eli has seemed to handle the food I have eaten...So far...) Our awesome friends and family have made it so that I haven't yet had to cook anything since Eli was born. That has rocked!

We did manage a real outing with Eli this weekend. On Saturday we went to the National Sculpture Garden for a little picnic. Joshie fed Eli with a bottle (see pic below). He seems to be getting better at bottles, which is sort of sad for my poor boobs but also means that I will be able to be away from him for more than 2-3 hours at some point in the near future.

In other news, I think that I look rough enough lately that I officially should be nominated to be on What Not to Wear. Seriously. You should see my roots, the ridiculous thing my bangs are always doing, the bags under my eyes, the one pair of pants that fit me, etc. Or maybe you should be glad that you can't see all these things. But as an example, witness the first family picture we have ever taken, which, for some reason, didn't happen until just last week.

Why was I wearing that shirt? I do love Montreal (and poutine!), but come on!

He can hear!

2008-05-06T19:19:00.005-05:00

Eli failed his hearing tests on both ears when we were in the hospital. We were told that it wasn't anything to worry about b/c babies (especially those born by c-section) get crap in their ears in utero (that doesn't get squeezed out during the birthing process when one has a c-section). We had to have him re-tested. Today was the day, and he passed!

Other big news...His umbilical stump fell off (it took much longer for our Eli than for Aldo!). And Eli LOVES baths (or at least doesn't hate them and then passes out for hours afterwards - note made so that in the future we plan our own bedtime accordingly).

Here are pictures (including bathtime) so you can remember how cute he is and how big he's getting...

Bris=Traumatic

2008-04-23T08:01:00.003-05:00

Tuesday was Eli's bris. (It was more than 8 days after his birth b/c of Passover.) I was worried about it. Josh's family was all here. My family was not - except for Tina. We are still having issues with me/us being Jewish. It makes me sad, but I understand where they are coming from, I guess. Anyway, the actual snipping went well, I guess. Eli cried like a maniac, but it was pretty quick and he quieted down soon after he got some wine-dipped gauze in his mouth.

So...it was supposedly all over. The mohel then showed us how to do the aftercare. Except Eli was still bleeding. He was freaking out and crying when we took off his diaper. The mohel said he had knicked a vessel and we had a "bleeder." Josh, who can't handle blood and related phenomena/words, just about passed out on the bed as there was A LOT of blood coming out of our wee one's junk. The mohel tried to stop it by applying pressure. Didn't work. Eli was very unhappy and started crying and screaming more. The mohel then attempted to clamp it. First time, it didn't work. Eli is now SCREAMING louder than he's ever screamed before. I am holding his upper body as still as I can and crying my eyes out while the mohel is still working on trying to clamp the vein. The second time around he managed to do it. Still more ear-piercing, blood curtling SCREAMING from my 10 day old baby. But at least he stopped the bleeding. It was just horrible.

But apparently, this can happen. No one told me that. All along, I've been told, it's no big deal. And, it's worse for you than him. No way. I mean, it was horrible for me, but it was AWFUL for him. I never want to do that again. Seriously, if we have another boy, I don't think I can do that again. I'd much prefer he make his own informed decision later in life. (This will not make the Jewish relatives happy, but whatever.)

Sorry to those of you with a similar situation. I understand this is relatively common, but doesn't happen every time and that where Eli was bleeding was a little unusual and pressure usually fixes the situation. So it's not usually as bad as our experience, I guess, even when there is a "bleeder."

And, just so you know, everything is seemingly fine now. The bleeding has stopped. There has been less crying with every diaper change. And the pediatrician said everything looks fine. We, luckily, had an appointment the day after, so we had her take a looksie. So, sigh of relief. All I could think was, how could I have done this to my new baby. I just can't believe that such a procedure is such an integral part of my religion.

In happier news...our baby is a total piggie and now weighs 11 lbs 5 oz. Most babies have only regained their birth weight at two weeks, but ours has gained almost a full pound over that.

Boobs...

2008-04-18T09:40:00.006-05:00

are all I see. Everywhere I look. Actually, everyone I've encountered since Saturday has seen my boobs, but now everything is looking like boobs to me. This morning, I woke up (or rather, I woke up in the middle of the night to little baby noises wondering if it was time to feed again) and I saw what looked like a giant boob in front of me. It was the corner of my comforter.

Breastfeeding is really intense. Especially this early on when all babies do is EAT. (And sleep and poo/pee). I got some help from an AWESOME lactation consultant (actually, the third one I've talked to), so there is some progress, but things are ROUGH in the middle of the night. I think we are both tired and cranky. Also, this kid eats A LOT. I have been told I am a "prolific" milk producer (there is milk EVERYWHERE, on every surface, on everyone's clothes, and, for a while now, there's been some in my hair). Which I have to be so that my kid doesn't starve.

Also, Eli got back up to his birth weight in 5 days, according to the pediatrician yesterday. On average, babies take 2 weeks. He is a piggie. I am ALWAYS starving. But since someone is sharing my calories, it is kind of awesome that I never feel guilty about eating. I think I'll do some more right now!

To show off...Eli's first night at home...

Eli and Daddy after Eli's first night at home...

We have the most beautiful boy in the world.

2008-04-16T08:30:00.000-05:00

I love him to pieces. All 10 pounds, 8 ounces, and 22 inches of his punctual self, born, via C-section after my water miraculously broke on his due date, Saturday, April 12th. (Also, water breaking is gross. Of course.)

Here is a picture that requires me to do the least amount of work to share with you. I don't think it actually does him justice. He is GORGEOUS.

Also, surgery sucks...but I was able to muster a smile for my little cutie...along with proud papa...

Breastfeeding is hard. I am eternally on the verge or tears. And my boobs are gigantic. Righty in particular is seriously engorged.

I have never been so exhausted in my life and it's only been almost 4 days...of 10:53 am today (though I started writing this post yesterday...so how do they date it? I don't care. It's April 16th to me.).

I miss you all but may never talk to you again b/c I'm going to be busy with baby Eli FOREVER (ok, a little dramatic, but there you have it).

Kisses and hugs to you all!

BTW, sorry if my text messages to you got messed up. I have no idea what the deal was with my inability to correctly text...oh, well, I guess I have been otherwise occupied...

Here's the story...

2008-04-11T07:16:00.002-05:00

Went to the dr yesterday. Still not dilated at all nor has the baby dropped. The doc measured my belly. In less than a week, it gained two centimeters (even though I actually lost weight this week). He said, These are the kinds of measurements I see with multiple births. He also said, This is the largest singleton belly I have ever seen. So, we discussed. His big fear is shoulder dystocia. He said that the head is very squishy and tends to fit no matter what, but that the shoulders can cause a problem. (Did I tell you about that already? At a previous appt, he had told me about a case of shoulder dystocia that he dealt with that worked out just fine for mom and baby but wasn't a very pleasant experience.) He said something like, The baby is healthy, you are healthy, but I am worried about getting him out of you. He also said something like, If I really thought this were a nine pounder we're dealing with, I'd be cool with a vaginal delivery, but I think we're dealing with 10 or 11 pounds. And, I gotta say (this is me talking) that I am worried about it too. So, we have decided to go with a c-section. However, given the popularity of scheduled c-sections, the earliest date we could schedule it for is April 22nd - 10 days after my due date! The doc thinks I'll actually go into labor before that. If that happens, the plan stays the same; I just get to experience labor some, and Eli gets to decide his own birthday.

I know that tiny women give birth to huge babies seemingly all the time - though I also have heard stories of the opposite. And I don't think I'm going to be on the news or in the Guinness book of world records b/c of the size of this baby, but I just feel really nervous about a vaginal delivery of what seems to be a sizeable baby and way more comfortable with a c-section. I know the hippy in me is supposed to be totally anti-c-section unless I am about to die or something, but I'm not. I guess I am simultaneously disappointed and relieved not to go through a vaginal delivery.

So, that is my/our decision. I have been kind of nervous to tell you all. I know you have strong opinions about this kind of stuff, but I am not going to change my mind. I'd really just appreciate support (if you care to give it) and don't really want to hear about why I shouldn't do this. I know all those things, and I still made this decision.

One last thing: I feel like this post is so horribly dramatic and serious, and I have felt like it's a serious decision and I haven't taken it lightly. But in the end, we get our baby! And no later than April 22nd! So yay!

Still nothing.

2008-04-10T07:36:00.002-05:00

Last night was less than pleasant. I ended up sleeping on the couch pretty much all night b/c I felt so bad about my pregnancy-induced snoring (that I hope will go away when the kid arrives!) keeping Joshie up every night. Basically, we end up taking turns on the couch these days. My cough wasn't so bad until early this morning, but then, when it started calming down, Eli decided that I wasn't allowed to have any more sleep and started beating up my internal organs. He was going so bonkers in there that I threw up in my mouth twice. (Sorry, gross, I know.) Kid, there is just not room in here for two of us anymore. Get out!!!

Also, I have a dr's appt today...PLEASE let me be dilated or SOMETHING!

I got nothing for you.

2008-04-09T09:07:00.003-05:00

Just sitting here waiting...trying to pay attention to the diss for a few hours before I resume my lying down. Sleeping is getting more difficult than ever - and is not aided by the fact that I now have a cough/sore throat. I wish THAT were a sign of impending labor, but, try as I might, I can't find it in any of the baby books/websites!

Still pregnant...

2008-04-08T08:13:00.002-05:00

with four days to go before I get REALLY complain-y about it.

Though lying around not doing work isn't so bad, really. Actually, it's awesome - even if the getting up to do anything part is rather difficult.

FORTY-FIVE (45!) CENTIMETERS

2008-04-05T10:18:00.004-05:00

Here is the belly in all 45 centimeters of its glory!

Yes, those are (new) stretch marks - I've had stretch marks for as long as I can remember, but now I have new ones to join the old ones. I was never really worried about the whole stretch mark deal as I am not one to expose the belly - other than while it's full of baby. In fact, my belly hasn't seen the light of day since I was about 5 years old (except for that ill-advised monokini summer back in the day...who let me do that?) Also, the belly button is holding strong and refuses to pop out! So no exciting deep belly-button cleaning for me.

Oh, and at my appointment yesterday, we found out I am not dilated AT ALL, and the kid hasn't dropped AT ALL. I think he is VERY comfortable. This one looks like he's holding on for the long haul...

Anyway, thank you so much for the praise yesterday! It's just what I wanted!

Praise me!

2008-04-04T07:41:00.003-05:00

As of this morning, I have officially worked out 5 days a week for 39 weeks of pregnancy. Ok, I missed a few days early-ish on while I was in Madison, but otherwise, I have had my butt at the gym. (Thank God for the elliptical machine. I wish I could elliptical everywhere rather than walk. It is WAY more comfortable.) Now tell me how impressive I am!

We'll see what happens next week, but it seems that, however labor and delivery go, being in better shape can't hurt.

8 days till D-Day...

38 weeks and 4 days...

2008-04-02T11:11:00.002-05:00

That means 10 days to go until the magical due date.* And I can't concentrate for more than 20 minutes at a time. I hate you, dissertation. But even more so, I hate feeling guilty about the fact that it's getting so hard to keep working on it. Shame spiral!

Also, I apparently turn mean after 10 pm. Stay away from me.

*Which, of course, doesn't really mean all that much since a lot of first births are late...speaking of which...still not sure how the birth is happening, but it looks like we're going to aim for a non-c-section and hope the kid fits.

More pictorial evidence of my gigantorism

2008-03-31T07:44:00.006-05:00

It was a friend's birthday party this weekend so pictures were taken. And cake was had - awesome Coldstone Creamery chocolate peanut butter ice cream cake!!! Any cups in my hand are filled with my second favorite mocktail of choice (after Shirley Temples): cranberry + Sprite.

Here's me deep in conversation (not about being pregnant for once, I swear!):

Here's me with awesome Bon-Bon during a brief break from complaining about being pregnant:

I am a troll. Touch my belly for good luck:

Now get this kid out of me!!!

I am about to explode.

2008-03-24T08:13:00.003-05:00

So I had a fancy ultrasound last week where they estimated the size of the baby to be 8 lbs 7 oz. That was at 36 weeks and 3 days. At this point, babies gain about .5 lbs a week. So at 40 weeks, that would put this monster at over 10 lbs. Of course, that could be wrong, etc, etc., but my belly itself is measuring overdue (by 4 weeks!) already.

Also, the kid seems nowhere near ready to come on down... So, my doc says he's worried about the size of the kid (vs. the size of me) and it's looking like a c-section is a real possibility - though doc says he'll do what we want and we have a 2nd opinion doc to go to on Thurs. But basically, I FEEL huge. I know this kid is big. I see other people who are farther along than me and smaller all the time. I have been asked if I'm having twins. I am gigantor. All of my internal organs are smooshed. I don't know how my body can deal with much more of this.

Nonetheless, nothing's really going to be happening until after April 4 (unless nature says otherwise), but I am so on the downward slope here, kind of having a heart attack about the fact that I am having a baby, and just barely trudging along with the diss. How do women do this all the time?

EIGHT months down...

2008-03-11T08:29:00.007-05:00

One to go! Okay, one month and one day, but still! I can't fricking believe it!

Here are a couple of pics from a few weeks ago (I am even bigger now!). The lovely sisters threw Josh and me a baby shower. They made up play one game: who can empty the baby bottle first? It was a competition between me and the two other preggies in attendance. They kicked my ass. Actually, the one who won was being bottle-fed by Josh's dad (whom she had just met) at the time. It was kind of insane. My dad is there documenting that ridiculousness on his camera. Anyway, I had no idea it took that kind of skill to drink from a bottle. The other preggies already have kids, so I guess they know something about the physics of the whole thing that just escaped me.

And here is one of the awesomely awesome-est gifts ever: a Bucky Badger onesie! Thanks to the lovely sisters - especially Rachel who went the extra mile to find it for us!

And a shout-out is due to Gwennie also for the awesome little jacket I am wearing! Thanks for keeping a huge pregnant lady looking stylish!

Update: For some unknown reason, I initially titled this "Two months down..." Um, no. That's 8 months down. My brain is just totally not working. How am I supposed to get anywhere with my diss when I have...MOMNESIA!

It's official. I now waddle.

2008-03-03T09:10:00.002-05:00

In other news, we discovered that the baby flipped! Yay! So that maybe means no c-section for the moment. We also learned he is seriously gigantic (my belly is measuring 7.5 weeks ahead of where I am!) --- including his junk. Oh Lord.

We had our labor and delivery class this weekend. It was sort of scary but kind of empowering at the same time. Most disturbing to me, however, was the realization that I apparently am the most high-maintenance pregnant woman of all time. The class was from 9am to 6pm --- with an hour break for lunch, lots of pee breaks, and occasional floor sitting/lounging for the breathing exercises --- but I was still so uncomfortable. First, I am definitely the only person to get up and take advantage of every single pee break. Second, my legs were swelling, so I'd sit on the floor for a while or put my legs up on another chair, but no one else ever changed their positions at all. And most of them had their legs crossed. I can't even cross my fricking legs, let alone sit like that all day long! What is with these people? And what is wrong with me? And, no, it's not b/c I was bigger or due sooner or anything. I am just problematic pregnant lady.

Minor heart attack

2008-02-20T09:02:00.002-05:00

Baby books generally advise that you do a "kick count" daily - or twice daily to make sure all is well with the baby. This involves sitting there for an hour and counting the babies kicks. Basically, if the baby kicks 10 times in an hour, you are in the clear (and can stop counting). I haven't been doing this. My doctor didn't say to do it, and generally, I feel like my kid has patterns of kicking that I know reasonably well and if those were to change, then I'd worry.

Well, those changed. He seemed pretty still last night. It was sort of weirding me out, but I figured I'd wait and seen. Then, this morning, I felt nothing. He seems to like to wake me up at 5-ish, but I felt two faint little flutters and nothing more. So, I got up and went to the gym, as always. He's usually still then - or I can't tell b/c I'm bouncing around some. I went back to my apt to stretch and still nothing. At this point, I told Josh and started crying. We talked about calling the doctor. I got in the shower - where sometimes he seems to like to be-bop around. Still nothing. I made the bed, lotioned every inch of my body b/c it's all stretched out and dry and itchy, etc. Nothing. Then, finally, while drying my hair (and singing to him b/c I think he likes that) I finally felt him 10+ times in a row. Thank the Lord! I can't believe my baby decided to sleep through the night now. He better never do that again! Until, of course, after he is born. Then I am all for that.

So, yes, I am a paranoid pregnant person. But the thought of something going wrong after all of this was just too much to handle. I gotta tell you, this whole pregnancy thing really isn't fun - at least not to me. I will spare you all the nasty details, but something wonderful better come out of me at the end of this!

I am huge. Here is proof.

2008-01-29T22:34:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged lately b/c I've been kind of down and all that kind of junk. My diss is stressing me out in a serious way and this baby is supposed to arrive in TEN weeks. Dear Lord. But here I am, in all my gigantic glory. With new hair (it's supposed to be the Katie Holmes, but don't judge too much as I didn't do the best job ever drying it today or beautifying myself in any way). Anyway, I am okay. No worries. Whatever. Enjoy the belly.

Diaper advice

2007-12-05T10:20:00.000-05:00

Ok, my friends. I know you are all pretty hippy and are likely to have similarly-minded friends so someone out there has to be able to help! Do you know people who have or have you ever yourself used cloth diapers? That's the plan for us (but not a diaper service), but I have no idea which diapers to choose. There are quite a few out there. Some are way cheap (and require pins and stuff). Others are way expensive (though still cheaper than disposables over the long run, I imagine) but are basically everything you need in one diaper (no pins, no outer diaper cover). Others are mostly everything you need in one plus inserts to deal with your baby's differing levels of pee. Does anyone out there have any advice for me/know anyone with any recent cloth diapering experience? (My parents used cloth diapers, but, thank God, diapers have come a LONG way since then. And, even so, my mom only liked the ones she got in England. I don't think shipping cloth diapers from England is exactly what we had in mind when we decided cloth diapers were the more environmental and cost-effective way to go.)

I am also interested to hear any other baby-related product advice. So far I have heard that the extra cost of the Baby Bjorn is worth is vs. other baby carriers, otherwise, I got nothing. I have my Consumer Reports book, but it's not always that fantastically helpful. And I am bad at making decisions. Someone tell me what to do! (I will be a fantastic parent, don't you think?)

How does this one work for you?

2007-11-27T07:53:00.001-05:00

Ok. I have no idea how to turn the picture around, but whatevs. You can turn your head, right?

So, I guess we (I) did sort of think it was going to be a boy. I dreamed that we had a boy and so did Josh. Some people said that the dreams meant we were having a boy; others said the opposite. Now we know for sure!

As for names...at the moment, I am seriously leaning towards Elijah Patrick (the E name being related to Joshie's grandma Eva and the P name being my mom's dad's name). We are thinking that we'll mostly call him Eli. It actually seems to fit pretty well when I talk to my belly now (it's a lot easier talking to your belly when it has a name, I find). Of course, we have several months left to change our mind - and E.T.'s friend's name is still in the running!

And, just b/c you are being patient about lack of compelling belly photos, here's one of Josh doing his impression of the baby in utero (as seen on ultrasound)...

It's a boy!

2007-11-26T13:47:00.000-05:00

So, we had our fancy ultrasound this morning, and they told us it's a boy! Holy crap! We are having a son. Weird, weird, weird!

Also, I believe a good number of the recent rumblies in my tumblies are baby related (and not just gas, though that's an issue as well. TMI!). I even felt one good swift kick. And I think he likes to play bongos on my bladder or something b/c I am pee central lately. Jeesh.

Anyway, here's a picture of the belly (with baby inside), me, and Joshie after Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house (not to be confused with Second Thanksgiving at Josh's parents' the next night...which might explain how I managed to gain 3.5 pounds in less than a week. Dear Lord.). I look collosal compared to Joshie there. It's kind of disturbing.

For those of you who wanted belly pix, I hope this is what you had in mind and not naked belly pix, b/c I can't handle those. This type of thing will have to suffice.

Why would you tag me?

2007-11-19T07:57:00.001-05:00

Not only am I rather boring but I also swear that I have told you *everything* about me. I will try, but this isn't going to be pretty.

1. I repeat my stories a lot. Whatever I like them. And so should you.

2. I wish that I had dropped out of the sociology program a long time ago and gone to school for as MSW or something so that I could be a therapist. You knew that though, right?

3. I am not good with kids. I can't believe I'm having one. They scare me. I only babysat a couple of times for an actual baby, and even then, it was with my sister Rachel. We were not so great at it. There was a huge fiasco involving lots of peanuts, an incredibly gross diaper, and nothing to wipe it up with except for cotton balls - and Rachel on the phone trying to call my mom (while my mom was actually walking down the street to where we were) and me running around the house for wipes/paper towels/leaves/anything to wipe the baby with (yes, leaving the baby unattended and not at all strapped down on the changing table). And you already heard that story.

4. I don't actually want to work at all. I want to be a stay at home mom. I hate working. I don't think there's much of anything out there that I like enough to keep me interested for very long (except, perhaps, other people's problems). And I have no ambition whatsoever. I don't think this is actually all that new to anyone who bothers to read my blog when I occasionally bother to blog.

5. My mom voluntarily taught field hockey at my grade school for girls in the 6th, 7th, and 8th grade. She basically started the whole thing and I believe it stopped when she stopped doing it. She started when I was in 2nd grade, and I got to play with the older girls. My mom would never make me play a particular position when I was really young. She'd call me a "rover" and I'd run everywhere trying to get the ball. I was incredibly competitive and threw myself into every piddly little game we played on the softball field (b/c, see, there was no field hockey field). But, you see, I was also kind of bratty about it and, if someone stole the ball from me, I'd often hit them in the butt with my stick and, at times, act like the fouled me and throw myself on the ground screaming and crying. I could have taught those soccer folks a thing or two. You are not surprised - particularly since you heard about my old racquetball battles with Robyn.

6. I am not interesting at all. I have had the most boring, Brady Bunch life ever. But that's pretty much fine by me. I love my husband. I am excited/nervous/crazy about the bun in my oven. I love my little family. And I love my husband's family. I also love my friends. I am incredibly lucky/blessed/whatever you want to call it. But, see, again you knew that.

I am tagging Constance. I suspect if you have made it to me, you are likely to be able to view her blog. So go for it, Connie!

Planet Unicorn. Unicorn Planet.

2007-11-15T17:18:00.000-05:00

OMG. You have to see this. Here's the story:

"In the year 2117, an 8-year-old gay boy named Shannon found a magic lamp. He was granted three wishes. The first, a fur jacket. The second, a flying car. And the third was a planet full of unicorns. This is the story of that planet..."

Apparently, Josh learned about it when he was out at some bar with people from his most recent show (in which there will be NUDITY - though only pantslessness on Joshie's part). Anyway, one of the people his group was meeting up with at the bar were having a Planet Unicorn-themed party. I am now officially in love with Planet Unicorn. It is awesome. If I had the room for a baby nursery (and not just a corner of our bedroom in which we plan to cram a crib), it would be Unicorn Planet themed as well. Unicorn.

Things I learned yesterday

2007-09-27T07:04:00.000-05:00

1. It is seriously not cool to make pregnant women have to hang around with full bladders (or, rather, get stuck in traffic with full bladders) in order to be able to get a good ultrasound. Not cool at all.

2. I have a large bladder. Or so said the ultrasound technician, who, when she saw how full my bladder, actually let me empty it halfway and then still commented, You have a really big bladder. Who knew? And then why do I have to pee so much all the time? No idea.

3. Things with baby look good! We will get the full results next week (which, of course, could still be wrong), but so far, so good.

4. I am having a giant baby, or, rather, a really long baby. None of you are surprised, I know. You have seen Joshie. He was a big ole baby himself - about 11 lbs (!) and really long. As a youngster, he appeared to be developmentally delayed b/c he was so big. People thought, why can't that kid who comes up to his mom's waist walk very well? And it was b/c he was one year old. Awesome. Anyway, doctors, etc., basically measure how long your baby is to tell you how far along in your pregnancy you are. Well, we know just about exactly (give or take a day) when we got pregnant, so we have a good idea how far along we are. We've just about completed 12 weeks. Yonder baby in the belly, however, measured twelve weeks and six days big yesterday. This has sort of been the story all along, though every time we get an ultrasound the difference between where we are in real weeks and how big the baby is measuring keeps growing. Where am I going to fit this thing in month nine?

P.S. Belly pictures coming soon-ish...

Blogging. Finally!

2007-09-26T07:07:00.000-05:00

Ok. I think about blogging just about every day and yet I never do it. Sorry. I am just not as clever and funny as the rest of you. But maybe I will just keep you posted on the state or my waistline and the # of times I've puked or gagged in a day. How about that?

So...waistline expanding. The biggest, poogiest part is now 36 inches. I think that's bigger than before. That's what I said "now 36 inches." I refuse to even attempt to put on my used-to-be-a-little-too-tight jeans. I *love* my maternity jeans - although I'm not quite big enough for them yet so they kind of fall down. Why don't all pants contain a soft, stretchy panel to go over your tummy for when you eat to much/feel bloated/whatever?

So far, only had one gagging episode today. That's pretty good. Of course, I am just about at the end of the first trimester, so this is all supposed to be tapering off, but my little one seems to have one last hurrah of nausea/fatigue.

Also, that whole thing about pregnant women being emotional...yeah, that's happening to me. So far, I've cried at the Delilah radio show (though, I've come close pre-pregnancy), Junebug (but, spoiler alert: she loses her baby, so how is a pregnant person not supposed to cry at that?), Dirty Dancing (twice! when Baby tells her dad he disappointed her too AND at "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." (!)), a nice email in which the choreographer of our show (did I tell you Joshie talked me into being in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with him) said nice things about me, and many more.

Today I go for an ultrasound for a special test (nuchal fold) to see if the kid has Down's Syndrome. Here's hoping things are cool.

Next week: I finally get to dye my hair! The grey is killing me!

Awesomeness

2007-06-14T08:20:00.000-05:00

For the first time ever, I am going to post b/c I am happy. I think I correctly multiply imputed data using this fancy command (or at least it seems fancy to me) in Stata. I have now used yet another fancy (set of) command(s) (after trying something that wasn't working) to get it to make some scales for me. It is glorious. I love when things work! It has been so rare lately. Instead it's been all rejection of papers/data analysis not working/diss idea not quite right/don't even ask me how baby-making is going. But now...or at least for the past 5 minutes...it is time to celebrate! With another cup of quarter-caf coffee! (I am actually cheating and went from caffeine free to quarter-caf this week. If I require that much caffeine in my life to finish my diss, so be it.)

Finally updating my blog

2007-05-31T07:06:00.000-05:00

Ok. I am lazy. I didn't want to both with my blog b/c the last time I tried to log in, it was complicated. Turns out, it wasn't all that complicated. So maybe I'm back. Though...I wouldn't count on it.

Anyway, last time I tried to post, I was going to make fun of Joshie. He called Paula Abdul "a good singer." Feel free to poke fun at him the next time you see him.

Now I want to tell you my latest careyoke adventure...There's this bar in DC called Wonderland that has Kostume Karaoke on Sunday nights. What, you ask, might that be? Well, it's karaoke, you see, but with costumes. You can wear your own or put on something from their collection of wigs, hats, capes, props, etc. And you MUST be wearing some sort of costume to perform. So, this was awesomely awesome to me.

I dressed '80s, since it was the easiest thing to do and we had just returned from a trip out of town. I started the night with "Fame." I sang a bazillion songs - especially early in the night before the crowd got large. I think I impressed/scared people with my "Welcome to the jungle."

Joshie and I also wowed the crowd with the best (or second best) karaoke song ever "Total eclipse." People fell in love with Joshie when he did "Rainbow connection" in a wizard hat (straight out of Rushmore - you know that part when Dirk and co. are throwing rocks at Max when he goes back to the school and the kids are all in costume? That kind of hat.)

A friend of ours did an AWESOMELY AWESOME performance of "Fight for your right to party." Seriously. It was amazing. That woman really sells it. Why have the Sconnies not thought of that before? Or did I miss it? She also did "Vogue" and with her vigorous voguing tripped over the microphone cord sending the mic flying. But it worked with the song! That, my friends, takes talent.

And my crowning achievement...I FINALLY got to do Kelly Clarkson "Since you've been gone"! Awesomely awesome! There were a bunch of women in the audience who were screaming it out as well, making it harder for people to hear that I can't really hit all those notes. Thanks, ladies! But I will tell you that my fave moment of the night was when some guy tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I know this is weird but...I want to buy your cd. Seriously." Get in line, baby!

Go look this up on youtube right now!

2007-04-04T08:06:00.000-05:00

Alannis Morrisette's cover of "My humps." Do it now. (Or, like I did, find it through Gwen's blog by linking to the Superficial.) It was awesomely awesome.

BTW, Joshie is better. Thanks for the well wishes. So am I (though just to make life interesting, I am having lower back issues again - last time was around the race prelim when I studied for the most part lying on my back in my office with my legs up on my chair. It's not quite as bad as that, but what am I stressing out about this time?)

The plague

2007-03-27T10:30:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, Josh and I watched a show on the History Channel about the plague. You may be aware that I have kind of an obsession with gross diseases. I guess I am kind of morbid. I don't know. It's just all fascinating. But now...it's hitting a little too close to home.

Last week, Josh had a cough and cold. It appeared that he gave them to me except that I had them much worse - with a fever (quite mild: 99/100) that just wouldn't go away all week. He took a couple days off work; I took the whole week off. He seemed better by the weekend; I seemed mostly better by the weekend. We cleaned/disinfected our entire apt for Evan and Julie's arrival on Saturday.

Josh felt fine performing in his 3 shows (Urinetown in Greenbelt, MD) this weekend. But then after his last show of the weekend (the Sunday matinee), he starting complaining that he couldn't take deep breaths/his chest hurt when he breathed. He woke up Monday morning with a 100.5 fever (after never having a temperature above 98 last week). He went to the doctor and it turns out he now has PNEUMONIA! Yes. Pneumonia. What the hell! And so Evan and Julie are still here (religiously taking their Airborne) and Josh is half-dead in bed. And it is insane. I'm supposed to leave for PAA tomorrow. I feel horrible leaving him (and scared I am on my way to catching it from him). Lord. What the hell. My icky disease fascination is biting me in the butt. Take your favorite sickness-preventative vitamin/mineral/herb. Try to steer clear of me - and probably Evan and Julie too when they get back home!

Made it to Madison!

2007-02-15T18:37:00.000-05:00

YES! Karaoke is on!

Delayed!

2007-02-14T13:50:00.000-05:00

Flight got cancelled today so I'm not going to make it to Madison until tomorrow. Hopefully.

Phew.

2007-02-12T13:54:00.000-05:00

The boobs are okay. Thanks for your concern! I really appreciate it.

If anyone is paying any attention...

2007-02-08T08:34:00.000-05:00

I don't blame you if you're not. I know I have been uber-boring blog-wise for the past year or so. A quick update, in case you care: I had kind of a health scare a couple weeks ago. I am actually having a breast sonogram next week. My second opinion (and way more reasonable) doctor things there's really nothing wrong, but just thought we should make sure. So I only freaked about it for a couple days.

In way more pleasant news, I found a karaoke location here in DC! RIGHT NEXT DOOR. This insane daytime cafeteria/nighttime bar (sort of) has a karaoke machine that a group of friends and I were totally able to take over. DC was overwhelmed by the double dose of GNR from me. It was not Karaoke Kid (and there was no Matt the Bartender or Matt the DJ or any other Matts there at all), but it'll do.

Speaking of karaoke...I am making my regular I'm-going-to-be-in-Madison-so-when-are- we-going-to-do-karaoke? announcement. I'll be in town from Valentine's Day (will you be my Valentine?) until Fat Tuesday (the 20th). Hope to see you then!

Happy (C)han(n)uk(k)ah!*

2006-12-15T09:16:00.000-05:00

So Hanukkah starts tonight. My first as a Jew. I heard one of the many versions of the Adam Sandler song this morning and it certainly felt more meaningful than ever before. So what am I doing for the first night? Well, it's Josh's office holiday party - to which I am not invited! Instead, I am going to a movie with the "movie club" folks (started by bro-in-law Mickey). It was my turn to choose the movie. I went with "For Your Consideration," which is actually semi-appropriate for the day (you know, the movie within a movie is "Home for Purim"). Then we are going out for the traditional fare of...Mexican food. Whatever. Being a Jew in this country is kind of tricky! (I guess being a Jew in any country is tricky.) I will light that first candle super late, but I will light it with pride as a Jew for the first time!

*I can never decide on one spelling, so I think that covers about all of them.

Next Madison trip rapidly approaching!

2006-11-28T08:18:00.000-05:00

I think I told most of you, but I wouldn't put it past me to have not mentioned it to a soul (okay, I know I did mention it to at least a few of you!)...I am going to be in Madison from Dec 6th to 12th. So, arrange your schedules accordingly!

And sorry I am such a lame-o with the lack of posts lately. I am not interesting. I promise. Nor am I clever. Nor do I regularly interact with more than one person (and that one person interaction is only on nights and weekends) - though I do have a nice view of the GAO building and think I have some friends in there. Some day I will work up the nerve to wave. Then I will ask them for a job.

Anyway, hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving and looking forward to seeing my Madison cutie pies v. soon!

To my sweet Sconnies

2006-11-08T08:35:00.000-05:00

I am so, so very sorry about the gay marriage ban. I know you worked really hard against it. I wish I could have done my part. Please take care of yourselves. And, I am sure you have seen this, but I thought this was kind of beautiful.

Christmastime is here

2006-11-02T08:21:00.000-05:00

So, I know I haven't posted in a while. I am not that interesting. Life in DC is okay. It's no Philly though it is nice to have a built in social network here. Josh is back from his travels as of last Thursday. That makes me happy. He started working at the firm on Monday. Already swamped. No surprise there. Though that still makes me not as happy - though he's really managed to make it home at a reasonable hour every night so far.

In other news, I already started listening to Christmas carols. I can't help it. I *love* it!

Official Madison visit announcement

2006-10-07T16:19:00.000-05:00

So, I thought I'd make sure you (if you ever read this...) knew that I'm going to be in Madison from the 12th to the 17th. I am presenting at race brownbag. Ack! Not prepared in the least! Whatevs. Anyway, I look forward to seeing you (yes, you!) and to karaoke (possibly on the 13th - Friday, the 13th - I think).

Still cuckoo

2006-09-26T13:23:00.000-05:00

I've actually tried to post a few times, but blogger hasn't let me logged in or something. Anyway, here's an update:

We have moved in. That was painful, of course, though less so than our last move. We have mostly unpacked. Josh is actually organizing my piles of papers (including chucking out bills from 1998, etc). Yay, b/c I hate that and have obviously been putting it off since...actually well before 1998. We have bought a new car. (PRIUS! I know!) Now we have to get rid of my old car (the $400 offered as trade-in for it was slightly insulting to my baby, so we prefer to donate). We celebrated Rosh Hashanah (Happy New Year!) with Josh's fam and then visited my fam. I have actually done a tiny bit of work. I am desperately in need of hair color. I will take care of that this afternoon with random guy at random salon. In another day or so we are heading back up to parent-land for Yom Kippur. Then back here next week and continued spastic readying of my race brownbag presentation on Oct 16th (so, I'll be in Madison around then. Details to come - as soon as I figure then out).

So that's it for now, I guess. I am so sorry that I've been out of touch! I will try to de-spazz and do a better job!

What is going on?

2006-09-16T07:28:00.000-05:00

So, Joshie and I survived our European whirlwind vacation and are now home. Home is now DC, of course. And we are actually in our new apartment, though our stuff does not arrive until Monday.

Anyway, I am still way out of it and freaked at the thought of attempting to go through my inbox and what not (and am actually just sharing someone else's wireless - we won't get hooked up until Tuesday), but I promise I will be in touch soon!

BTW, what is going on with people's blogs? Does Ang's not exist anymore? What else have I missed?

Um, why is ASA in Montreal this year?

2006-08-10T08:31:00.000-05:00

And why do I have to fly internationally today? I hate flying enough as it is. Now I am just about making myself sick at the thought of the whole experience. Someone give me something to knock me out for the next 12 hours and then just carry me where I need to go. Please?

Success!

2006-07-20T07:37:00.000-05:00

JJ and I were at the Add Health User's Conference the past couple of days at NIH. It was actually the most useful conference I have ever attended. I went to a couple of sessions about the data and how to use it correctly, and I actually learned some important stuff. Amazing!

In other good news, we only had to suffer through one serious manversation in which there was a "discussion" about whether or not Malthus was an economist (answer: I don't care). Also, the prime manversator basically told JJ her diss was undoable. How inspiring! But, he is wrong! You can do it, JJ!

Other attempts at "networking" weren't so much better. I don't know why people at these things aren't friendlier (though, I suppose, I really shouldn't be so surprised); however, through a Jeremy connection, we did the best networking of all: clothes, food, earrings, Container Store, movie-related networking. It was great! And she bought me a pre-presentation good luck coke! That's good stuff.

Speaking of our presentation, I think it went really well. I felt like I really knew my segmented assimilation-related stuff. And there was (at least) one guy in the audience who seemed to agree with what I was saying. He was very noddy. It was awesome. But it's particularly cool b/c these are my own actual ideas and this was the first time presenting this stuff to someone other that my diss committee. And just for people not to look at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears was a lovely thing. And JJ was fabu as my methods guru! So, it was a good experience. Who knew?

Now...oh yeah, my diss. And basically being in and out of town/moving until finally settling in DC in mid-September. Crazy days ahead.

I'm Jewish!

2006-07-12T16:16:00.000-05:00

It's official. Passed the bet din (I was even called "articulate," which no one has *ever* called me before - and for good reason). Dunked naked in the mikvah (it was actually fun). Even got my certificate!

To celebrate, I got lunch with Josh and his mom, went to the dentist (Josh's dad), and now I'm watching the Jew-iest movie we own: Fiddler on the Roof. Love that Tevye dance!

I'm taking the entire day off even though this Add Health paper is killing me. Whatever. It may be a mess, but it's my day, and I'm taking it off!

What's another year?

2006-06-30T07:35:00.000-05:00

So, it has come to this. I talked to Gary yesterday about the job market and my future, and...I'm just not ready yet. I SO wanted to be done by next summer. It pains me to add an additional year to this whole grad school process, but I just don't know how in the heck I would finish by next summer. And I would not be looking too great on the job market this fall either. So, I'm aiming to finish after NINE years. Ugh. I am not sure how that's going to go. I hope it makes me feel less stressed (I certainly do feel some relief), but I also know that it means that the ick of not feeling like a productive member of society will continue for an additional year. Maybe I will find some way to deal with that in DC. My mom suggested I be a Walmart greeter. She really meant that maybe I should try to do a few hours of week of something non-thought-provoking/stress-inducing. Probably not gonna happen. The Walmart part, that is. Now if the Container Store (so excited there's one of those in DC!)/Target/Claire's/The Icing needed a greeter...Hmmmm...

P.S. Why does SSCC hate me? I have a buttload of crap to do this morning and I can't connect and their website isn't working either. Argh!

Official conversion date

2006-06-29T07:50:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I met with the rabbi. Yes, he forgot about my assignment. No, I didn't remind him. I did complete it, but it was crappy and I was too embarrassed to share it. So I'm glad he forgot. Anyway, it's supposed to be my last meeting with him b/c...we actually set a date for my conversion! July 12th. Just 2 weeks away. Whoa! Sadly, Josh will not be able to come with me. It's up in Bucks County (a ways from Philly) and he's in trial and can't get off work during trial. I think I'm going to ask his mom if she'll come with me (she works at a school so has off in the summer). It would be weird to do it all alone.

Now I need to tell my parents. Again. I mean, I told them, but they don't know when it's happening. And now my dad is in Nebraska visiting family for the next 3 weeks, and my mom is at home so it requires 2 unpleasant phone calls instead of just one big one. Oh well, I can deal. I guess I could ask my mom if she wants to come along, but I don't imagine she'll be really keen on that idea.

So do you want to know my Hebrew name? It's not Esther! It's Eliana. It's not biblical, it's just a name that I think sounds nice and like the meaning of. It means "God has answered me." I tried to find a picture of it in Hebrew (it is very pretty and will look FABU on the necklace that I am sure Josh is ordering for me at this exact moment...or not), but the one website that has it won't let me save the image. Whatevs. Believe me, it's pretty.

So just a beit din (think Jewish master's defense with a committee of 3 rabbis) and dunk in the mikveh and I'm official!

Super stressing

2006-06-27T17:05:00.000-05:00

I feel like I went from being Ms. Laid-back-pants to Stressie McGee in the course of a week. Since my return from Madison, I have been overwhelmed with job market issues, diss issues (it took me hours and hours just to make the space to be able to save my data set somewhere), paper issues (JJ and I are presenting in less than a month and nothing exists), and housingmoving issues. Joshie and I are supposed to go to DC on Monday to look for a place. We went in early June or late May or something (I can't remember ANYTHING lately). Anyway, last time we were there, we were apparently ridiculously early for the apt market. Nothing was available in August. It was all June and July stuff. Fine, so we've been biding our time and now it's upon us: an actual day that Josh can go down to DC with me for a housing search. So we've been looking on craig's list and sending emails, and it is crazy-town down there. Some guy with a pretty nice place at a reasonable price (for DC) has actually had people offering to pay his last month's rent AND moving expenses just so they can get his place. What? Is that normal? It didn't seem like that was the case a month ago. I really want to puke about all of this. And then, just to make things more complicated, we have a very narrow window in which we can move. We're in Montreal for ASA until the 15th and then leave for Europe the 21st. What were we thinking? Do I even have a brain? Does it just turn off for hunks of time? So, excuse me, but I may just huddle in the corner and rock for a while. Or have a drink.

And I haven't done my homework yet for the rabbi this week (the only week I've actually had homework) and I meet with him tomorrow. Of course, he's been rather fly-headed about my conversion (didn't tell me it's not happening tomorrow until yesterday, etc.), so maybe he forgot about that too...

And, of course, you're all stress-pantses too, I know. Like Ang knows we're all tired. (She's right.) But there's nothing like a good rant.

And one is supposed to publish how many pieces a year before perishing in academia?

2006-06-26T14:19:00.000-05:00

Blech. Argh. Whatever.

Ok, you know how my paper got rejected? Right. And maybe you recall that I sent it out to another journal. I put it in the mail (b/c that's how they wanted it) back in late March. A couple of weeks later, they acknowledged receipt of the paper and wrote, in their email, that I should contact them if I hadn't heard anything in over 2.5 months. 2.5 months came and went, so I emailed them. Apparently, only one reviewer has gotten back to them (no idea what said reviewer had to say about it...puke!). They promised to nudge the others to get a response. Another week has passed and now I get an email asking for an electronic copy. I sent it immediately. G says to contact them in ANOTHER month if I still haven't heard anything. Ok. And so, if I'm lucky, I'll get an R and R. (In that case, maybe I'll have a clue if I might possibly get something published by 2007. Note: there is a big blank hole under "PUBLICATIONS" on my CV.) Or, more likely, I will send it off to another journal after another rejection that took 5 months to find out about. Was the faster rejection better? Probably. I mean, I know the whole journal publication stuff is supposed to take forever. But this experience just leads me to ask if it is even worth trying for an academic position when I am SO SLOW to produce (and feel ill about/am deathly afraid of it all)?