You know you're doing the wrong thing in life if...
it makes you want to barf at the start of every work day, maybe?
How about if every moment you spend doing it you'd rather be doing just about anything else?
I am having yet another one of those I-hate-school/work moments. Actually, it's more of an I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this-to-myself moment. Am I alone in this? (I guess I know that I am not.) But really, is this normal? Is this okay? Does it ever get better?
I just don't want to think anymore. It's too hard. Why does everything have to be so good? Can't I just produce crap and it be okay?
Can we just have a moment for a collective "ugh"?
posted by Careyoke @ 10:47 AM
6 Comments:
I am with you on the collective UGGGGHHHHHH.
I'm all for calling it quits today. The only thing stopping me is the fact that they would make me pay my fellowship back and then I would be in severe debt. So basically I am trapped in this "job" of dissertation research.
But you know what, you do good work, and you're almost done (in the grands scheme of things) so just hang in there.
As for the question of whether you can produce crap and have it be okay, the answer is certainly yes. I will refrain from citing examples, however.
The dissertation-writing process sucks for everyone. There's no way around it. I've never known anyone who didn't find it to be excruciatingly painful. So you're not alone, and it is painful.
And I'll UUUUGGGGHHHH with you anytime.
Count me in on ugggghhhh. This is hard.
But you're not alone!
Let's see. I spent all afternoon Monday (after teaching two classes) rewriting an application for the UW fellowship just in case I flopped on the job market this year and needed to stay. I worked harder on it than I should have all the while knowing there was no chance in hell that I'd get it. While I was working on it yesterday morning Smith College emailed me to ask for two syllabi that do not exist (Soc of Medicine and Qual Methods), so I've been doing that for oh about 36 hours now (and teaching two classes). I now can't remember the last time I actually made any progress on THE ONE THING I NEED TO DO TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. And I just talked to my advisor and my chapter is all wrong, all wrong, all wrong. She had to give it back to me without going all the way through it because it was making her "agitated" and she didn't want to say things she "shouldn't say."
Oh God. Nevermind about my ughs. You are the winner of the ugh, Connie!
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