Here's the story...
Went to the dr yesterday. Still not dilated at all nor has the baby dropped. The doc measured my belly. In less than a week, it gained two centimeters (even though I actually lost weight this week). He said, These are the kinds of measurements I see with multiple births. He also said, This is the largest singleton belly I have ever seen. So, we discussed. His big fear is shoulder dystocia. He said that the head is very squishy and tends to fit no matter what, but that the shoulders can cause a problem. (Did I tell you about that already? At a previous appt, he had told me about a case of shoulder dystocia that he dealt with that worked out just fine for mom and baby but wasn't a very pleasant experience.) He said something like, The baby is healthy, you are healthy, but I am worried about getting him out of you. He also said something like, If I really thought this were a nine pounder we're dealing with, I'd be cool with a vaginal delivery, but I think we're dealing with 10 or 11 pounds. And, I gotta say (this is me talking) that I am worried about it too. So, we have decided to go with a c-section. However, given the popularity of scheduled c-sections, the earliest date we could schedule it for is April 22nd - 10 days after my due date! The doc thinks I'll actually go into labor before that. If that happens, the plan stays the same; I just get to experience labor some, and Eli gets to decide his own birthday.
I know that tiny women give birth to huge babies seemingly all the time - though I also have heard stories of the opposite. And I don't think I'm going to be on the news or in the Guinness book of world records b/c of the size of this baby, but I just feel really nervous about a vaginal delivery of what seems to be a sizeable baby and way more comfortable with a c-section. I know the hippy in me is supposed to be totally anti-c-section unless I am about to die or something, but I'm not. I guess I am simultaneously disappointed and relieved not to go through a vaginal delivery.
So, that is my/our decision. I have been kind of nervous to tell you all. I know you have strong opinions about this kind of stuff, but I am not going to change my mind. I'd really just appreciate support (if you care to give it) and don't really want to hear about why I shouldn't do this. I know all those things, and I still made this decision.
One last thing: I feel like this post is so horribly dramatic and serious, and I have felt like it's a serious decision and I haven't taken it lightly. But in the end, we get our baby! And no later than April 22nd! So yay!
posted by Careyoke @ 7:16 AM
8 Comments:
Oh, Carey. Don't worry for a second what other people think or might say. This is your body. You should do what you feel is best.
And the main thing is, like doc said - you are healthy. Eli's healthy. That's great. I'm so excited for you!
I think your sentiment and hesitation to write about this illustrates exactly what I don't like about the current climate surrounding childbirth -- it adds so much anxiety and shame to what is already a very stressful decision. The last thing you right now is additional stress. Ultimately, you have to do what you think is in the best of you and the baby.
I hope that it takes a little anxiety out of the waiting to know how things will go when it does (finally!) happen.
I am just happy to know that you and Eli are healthy and I am so excited for you and Josh that you'll get to meet the little (or not so little) guy soon.
Oh, Carey! I think you made the right decision! When you were talking about a c-section some time ago, I almost posted at that time that I thought it was the wise choice - but I didn't want to push you one way or the other. I support you 100% and believe me, there are many days that a scheduled c-section sounds FANTASTIC to me, even though my ideal is to have a non-medical birth. I know it is major surgery, and not an easy thing to go through, but the most important thing is bring that child into the world - and soon. I'm thrilled that everyone is healthy and that you will soon have your body back to yourself!
When I am facing the prospect of pushing out a big-headed, wide-shouldered 11-pounder out of my hoo-hoo, I'll get high and mighty and preach on what's "right." Until then...
You guys are all great! Thank you so much! You are really making me feel even better about my decision.
Hoo-hoo. Heh.
Did you actually think a single one of your friends would really doubt you on this? Honestly? There is a HUGE difference between an elective c-section for the doctor's convenience and a c-section because YOU'RE HAVING A GINORMOUS BABY!
Here is the honest truth: I've had conversations with 2 people who have already posted in the past week, and in both conversations we were all CAREY SHOULD HAVE A C-SECTION!!! That last belly picture kinda freaked us out! Honestly, I may never forgive Josh for the size of this baby.
And really, if I'm one of the people you thought might even CONSIDER telling you what to do, I'm horrified! Anyone who would even THINK of trying to make you feel bad about this decision should get a good slap in the face from you.
I am disappointed in one respect, though: I once read that after a vaginal birth some women's vaginas have folds and wrinkles and it makes sex feel totally different (and often better), and I am DESPERATE to know if this is true. I don't know why, I just find it fascinating.
And honey, you just aren't a hippie :)
Oh, but just as proof that it can be done...my uncle was nearly 11 pounds and Grandma had a vaginal birth. But I do not use my grandma as an example of what the average--or even incredibly exceptional--woman can, or should, do. I'm surprised she went to the doctor at all and didn't just have her kids in the bathtub and then get up and go feed the cows.
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