Thursday, February 03, 2005

Promise fulfilled: The recap

A brave group headed to the Kid on Tuesday evening after being brutally rebuffed the previous Tuesday for no apparent reason. But we were in luck February 1st; the Kid was open and we were rockin’! Even the field notes were rockin’. In fact, this whole recap is going to be almost entirely a direct quote from the field notes. I will try my best to correctly identify the notetakers. Please feel free to correct me when applicable. And without any further ado…

PARENTAL ADVISORY: THE FOLLOWING RECAP CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. The notetakers are a little bit potty mouthed. Well, Jude, really. I can’t help it.*

T-zone wrote: “Jeremy’s shirt says ‘Bacon is a vegetable’ and a guy [Justin] has Jeremy’s initials shaved in his head for which Jeremy pd him $90. [Apparently, Dorotha brokered the deal and took at 10% cut of the profits.] Angela complains that the KK [Karaoke Kid] doesn’t have ANYTHING she wants to do.”

T-zone wrote: “Carey[oke] begins with Bette Davis’ Eyes in a fabulous [Thank you!] raspy voice that will kill her throat for the rest of the night. [Almost, my next song did more damage.]”

Then I wrote how Dorotha was up next, joined by Lisa, for She Bop. Referring to this performance, T-zone wrote: “meant to be dedicated to the men serving on submarines. I don’t know why.”

After that performance, I wrote, “BORING LULL!” because nobody had any songs in yet.

Next T-zone wrote: “Angela continues to freak out about the lack of [song] selection.”

Lisa saves us from the lull with Heart of Glass. According to T-zone “Best Blondie cover ever!” Indeed!

Followed by: “Angela – Hit Me With Your Best Shot. She is congratulated for being [awesomely] awesome by random guy in white button-down shirt.” Later, we discover that this is Chip. He is in a group of 3 couples (right?) – including a guy in a Bill Cosby-esque sweater. More on them to come.

More T-zone: “JJ & Carey[oke] – Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Wakes Everyone Up! Yay Goonies!” We had signed up for a different song (or at least had meant to), but how could we say no to Cyndi? I think it was at this point that Chip and friends started calling me Pinkie. You see, I was wearing a pink shirt. And gigantic blue star earrings which coordinated perfectly with my pink, blue, and grey argyle wristband. Awesomely awesome! BTW, T-thang, I think the Cyndi Lauper song in Goonies was “(The Goonies Are) Good Enough,” or something like that. But I appreciate any and all Goonies references. Andy, you Goonie!

T-zone: “Old guys [Cosby crew] say we have future stars here.” Future?!

She continued: “[Rhymes-with-Scrabble ]! Most fabulous karaoke jacket ever! Fancy [it’s actually triple-underlined, but I can’t figure that out here.] both the song and the jacket! I will steal it sometime tonight if she is foolish enough to remove it. Her barrettes are also very exciting. [Rhymes-with-Scrabble ] wins for best ensemble of the night.”

And more: “Jeremy & Carey[oke] – Mama Said Knock You Out – Jude says this is the whitest performance he’s ever seen. [Inconceivable!] It’s not clear what Jeremy’s job is except to say “out!” and “justice” [?] [“joshie”? I can’t tell. So I’ll just pretend he was yelling about my Joshie.] Justin comes up to break it down. ‘A Jammy in my Hand!’ [Yes, that is part of the lyrics.] Jeremy gets a high five from old guys.” I think this starts their constant post-performance high-fiving for the evening. Why I didn’t get high-fived and Jeremy did makes no sense to me. Maybe it was congratulating him on taking credit for a performance he added to little to. Or maybe it was just because he got to be on stage with me. Or maybe it was because he survived my scary performance. In fact, I was told later that he found me a little scary up there. Must’ve been the jammy in my hand. You be the judge.

T: “Angela – Last Dance. Angela is [awesomely] awesome, but then again is there ever a time when she isn’t? Old guy claps arhythmically [sp?] behind me. More high fives for Angela.

T continued: “Jessie – Flashdance! Justin robots much better than he sings! His face is red with effort. It’s hard to keep up with Jessie J.”
Jude added, “Justin redefines ‘flat.’” Ouch!

More T: “Mike – Bill Cosby Sweater Old Guy who predictably sings ‘Puppy love.’ All the old people get up and dance – ‘old people are so cute.’” There was a discussion about which Jim Henson character he sounded like most.

Greg and Will arrive, the notes inform me. Finally!

T: “Justin – ‘Straight Up.’ [This is the kid with the backwards JF sideburns.]”
Jude continued: “The song title and performance don’t mesh.”
T added: “Neither does the try at the falsetto ‘please’ but ‘A’for effort.”
Responded Jude: “I think dogs are baying and bats are falling from the sky.”
T explained: “’Straight Up’ was appropriately dedicated to Jude. Jude is going to fight [Dorotha].”

T: “JJ and Carey[oke] do Starlight Delight [Starland Vocal Band’s “Afternoon Delight”] which can be nothing but good [except when I am screwing up the harmonies]. Carey[oke] is shocked by the explicitness of the lyrics [I thought it was “loving” and not “rubbing.” Pervie!]…guy in Cosby sweater punched me in the back earlier and I will never forgive him. Jeremy points out song is about ‘midday sex’ for those who couldn’t translate the title. All I hear is ‘3pm copulation.’” Oh jeez!

More from T: “[Rhymes-with-Scrabble ] – Just like Jesse James.”
Jude: “[Rhymes-with-Scrabble] isn’t wearing her coat – Tara goes to yank it. Tara conducts reconnaissance.”
T: “Dorotha is sitting on it.”
Jude: “Tara is temporarily stymied. She plots a [Rhymes-with-Scrabble]/Dorotha duo to free up the coat. While the mark is crooning, Tara will make her move.”
T: “Yes I will. I may also steal the purple Hello Kitty purse.”
J: “Truly is will be a heist for the ages.”
T: “But I will leave the ID and wallet. It sucks replacing everything,” says one who knows.

T: “Chelssya – she’s got everything dedicated to [Dorotha]. Who enjoys it thoroughly. Chelssya says she doesn’t really know the song, but I think she’s lying. She seems to know it very well. She does a lovely job.”

T: “Angela – Love Train. Angela incites a riot by asking everyone to dance. Greg is rubbing his temples – he either has a headache or thinks he’s telekinetic. Angela is ‘the woman’ – from the old guys.”

T: “JJ – Part-Time Lover. What could be better than JJ? No really. What could?” She doesn’t lie.

Then Justin sings Rock Lobster. T wrote, “Carey[oke] & Lisa come up to help and dance. Angela dances like she just don’t care. Lobster robot?” Yes, Justin did an [awesomely] awesome lobster-inspired robot. Lisa and I had fun making weird underwater animal (fish, I suppose) noises.
Some scribbledy writer (Jeremy, is that you?): “Conversation about submarine – Jude claims on sub for 5 straight years; this exposed as a lie – now, Jude starts to threaten all faculty in attendance.”
T: “Lots of screaming and Justin dancing.”

T: “Old Guy in Cosby Sweater – It was almost like a song.” What?
Jude: “Dedicated to all the girls and Jeremy’s [initial-shaved friend]. Tara still hates the [even with the advisory I can’t write it, so I’ll just say ‘son-of-a-gun’].
T: “Though hate is quite strong. I dislike him intensely because he punched me in the back…”
Feel free to use your imagination about how the rest of this conversation goes…it involves a prostate exploding. Yes. I’m not sure you really want to know.

T: “Jeremy promises [Rhymes-with-Scrabble] $100 to shave “JEREMY” into her head on visit day.” The most wonderful day of the year.

Next up were Jeremy, Dorotha, and I with…
Jude: “We Built This City on Rock-n-Roll. Jeremy brings 2 cheat sheets that sorry bastard. He’s not given a microphone [Can you blame us? He refuses to sing anyway!] – but Carey[oke] and [Dorotha] do make theirs accessible [?].”
T: “But he doesn’t use it so it was [awesomely] awesome!”
J: “ Apology proffered. 80’s forever. Woo.”
T: “Indeed.”

Next up is Rhymes-with-Scrabble with “Keep Me Hangin’ On.”
T: “As per Jeremy’s request she ‘owns it.’
Jude: “Tara goes to swipe [Rhymes-with-Scrabble]’s coat. We’ll see who’s dressed like a pimp when it’s time to leave. Tara puts on [Rhymes-with-Scrabble]’s jacket and immediately starts slapping the [poo] out of [Dorotha] and begins loudly demanding ‘all my goddam money…’”
T: “Unfortunately [Dorotha] does not comply despite the awesomeness of my attire.”
J: “Soon the paramedics will arrive for [Dorotha].

Jeremy wrote: “I though [Rhymes-with-Scrabble]’s coat was going to be the coolest item of clothing here. THEN I saw Tara’s shoes.”

Next up are Angela, Dorotha, Jeremy, and Justin with “That’s What Friends Are For.”
T: “…[the Cosby gang] are all dancing in a single mass hanging on to each other for support. You’d think they’d get tired of it party way through, but no, they just keep holding on…”
Jeremy added: “They love us! It’s like they’ve never been exposed to Rule Two before.” See his blog somewhere for an explanation. I have enough work cut out for me here without figuring out links too.

Next up is Chelssya with “Who will save you soul?” From T’s viewpoint, “[Rhymes-with-Scrabble] is looking and singing v. seductively from the table to Chelssya.” Jewel has that effect on people, you know.

T: “Jeremy attempts [and succeeds!] to bribe the KK workers [with $10] to play ‘Stacy’s Mom.’”

T: “Guy in white shirt [Chip] hugged [Dorotha] and said ‘Good job. That’s sincere. That’s sincere,’ after her last performance.” He rocks.

T: “Will is up!! Sweet Jane. And it was [awesomely] awesome. As only Will can be!”

T: “Carey[oke] – Sweet Child O’ Mine. A Faulkner classic. Dedicated to Jude complete with Axel Rose dance. Jude is awestruck. Speechless…Carey[oke] asked for her autography by old guy in white shirt.”

T: “JJ. Purple Rain dedicated to Carey[oke] and, with some prodding, Jeremy. JJ asks for reverb and the crowd attempts to comply [and not too shabbily, I think]. [Someone – the notes say it’s me, but I don’t think so…] asks JJ to ‘sing it like it hurts!’”
Jeremy: “Why has Jessie J never won a grammy! Injustice!”
T: “So true! Carey[oke] moves to the front of the crowd so that JJ can sing to her through fewer people.”
Jude (I think, though it hardly matters since the sentiment is shared by all): “Jessie J kicks ass!”

Jude: “Jeremy & [Rhymes-with-Scrabble] – ‘Stacy’s Mom.’ This sets new records on the creep-o-meter. Correction: Cosby guy already broke that instrument.”
T: “I am frightened of the old guy in the white shirt who belly-bumped Jeremy. Jeremy said something about ‘I MOWED HER LAWN’ [Ewwww!] insulting old guy in white shirt.”

T: “Grey & Angela do Light My Candle – one of my personal favorites.” It’s one of everyone’s personal faves.

T: “Jeremy continues to mock guy by bumping Greg when done.”

T: “Mike – Cosby sweater guy. ‘Donna.’ Jeremy says he loves Mike. Tara disagrees [yes, she’s referring to herself in the third person. Silly!]. He is a ‘Rule 2 Issue.’” See above for more info.

Some girls are up next who also benefit from Rule 2.

T: “Lisa, Carey[oke], and Justin, or not Justin – Let’s Hear It for the Boy dedicated to Will, Greg, then Jude.”
Someone wrote: “NOT JEREMY” (not sure if T or Jeremy himself who I believe then wrote “who is not a boy, rather he is a man-child.”
Jude: “At least he’s not a Faulkner-izm [?cannot tell these letters] man-child though.” Hey! Who you talking Faulkner about?
T: “Lisa does jumping jacks and still manages to sing full-voice. She is amazing! And does it really need to be said how great Carey[oke] is? Angela is never going to wash again.

Some guy sings “It’s not unusual” even though he didn’t put that song in…
Jude: “And Jeremy finishes with a forearm smash.” That was his move of the evening (besides the belly-bumping, I guess).

Next up is Angela with “Chain of Fools.” I squeal in delight.
T-zone: “I am [awesomely] awesome in this coat. Random icky old guy wants me to dance but he’s creepy.”
Jude: “Yeah, but back to the story: Angela kicks ass. She’s got the most soul of all the…folk in Milwaukee.”
Jeremy added (I think): “IN ALL [multi-lined again] THE MIDWEST!”
Jude: “Fair enough.”

Chelssya was next with “Walking after Midnight.” At some point she did what JJ called the pregnant robot or “preggo-bot.” (Or should it be “prego-bot”? I will let JJ have it her way.)
T explained: “I can’t really hear her because Chip, who congrats us for budging [yes, that’s what it says] a “generational gap” he appreciates it, is talking.”**
Jude added: “Chelssya, though, was doing a sweet-ass Patsy Cline. Now we’ve just got to get her back up there to do ‘I Fall to Pieces.’”

T: “[Rhymes-with-Scrabble] – Desert Rose. So much has been written of her Sting yodeling. What can I add?” Jude comments on her crazily awesome roboting.

T: “Chip provided Chelssya with a short history of Patsy Cline to aid in her later performances, I’m sure.”

Then some guy with “Runaway train”…

Then T wrote: “Will! Will! Will! Jude is leaving and missing Rainbow Connection. Heresy!” It was quietly dedicated to Cosby sweater.

Then Jeff with Build Me Up, Buttercup. T wrote: “How fantastic! Everyone is happy and dancing and singing! Props from Chip!”

JJ is up next with “I’ll make love to you.” T lets me know it was dedicated to Dorotha.

Jeremy writes something mostly incomprehensible about drinking too much and staying too late at karaoke without meaning to. We’re just that good. It’s hard not to get carried away. I know only too well.

Justin and “Random Guy,” according to T, sing Barbara Ann. “Complete with dancing. Best performance tonight by Justin. Disturbing lyrics in this song. I never knew.”

Another Cosby sweater performance…

Some drunk birthday-related people sing…

Angela is up next with PYT. According to T, “What couple be a better combination than Angela and Michael Jackson…wait…that’s not what I meant. She’s better than MJ – and not just because she doesn’t molest children.” Oh jeez.

Greg and I are up next with “Somewhere out there.” T noted: “JJ leaves. How could she? Betrayal! Greg does [awesomely] awesome James Ingraham. Chip conducts from audience. [Thanks, Chip!] Justin yells, ‘Too sexy!’ I’m not sure that’s appropriate for a song between a child mouse and his parents.”
Jeremy (I think) added: Mice totally do that – if caged.
Dorotha responded: “I think mice might do that in the wild.”

Other non-sociologists…

According to T, Rhymes-with-Scrabble “made me relinquish the jacket. I did because she needs it to perform ‘Dark Lady.’ I am sad, but I still have my shoes.”

Next was Travis, a petite man in a red gingham shirt, with “Burning Love.”
According to T, “Ang calls him ‘A hunk-a-hunk of burnin’ love.’ Jeremy says something like, ‘I want to laminate him.’ [Yes, laminate.] Carey[oke] screams, ‘Your shirt is [awesomely] awesome!’ Go Travis! We love Travis! Old people dancing in a group again while Jeremy and Ang discuss how cute Travis is.”

Rhymes-with-Scrabble is up with Dark Lady. According to T, “This better be worth giving up the coat. Ok. I guess. Our claps were [awesomely] awesome until Jeremy [messed] up.”

She wrote: “Lisa & Ang – Take me for what I am. I was in the bathroom and everyone else are slackers. But I think they’re fabulous.”

Non-sociologists…and then we leave.


*So, I did some, uh, editing and it wasn't as explicit as it could have been. If you feel like you have been censored, put it in your own stinkin' blog!

**Later in the notes, Greg explains this further: “What’s great about us? Why, we bridge the generational gap with music. We have responses to that which has come before and don’t just do that rap shit.” Ok. Sure. Note the only rap performers this evening were, in fact, Jeremy and I.

I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say

Dudes. I swear. A recap is coming. But have you seen the notes? They are CRAZY long! And I am not the best typist. Nevertheless, I will do my best to transcribe them soon. I actually started last night but didn't get very far. My schedule is WIDE OPEN tonight though so I will make it official: I promise I will post the recap tonight. I promise you.