Bris=Traumatic

Tuesday was Eli's bris. (It was more than 8 days after his birth b/c of Passover.) I was worried about it. Josh's family was all here. My family was not - except for Tina. We are still having issues with me/us being Jewish. It makes me sad, but I understand where they are coming from, I guess. Anyway, the actual snipping went well, I guess. Eli cried like a maniac, but it was pretty quick and he quieted down soon after he got some wine-dipped gauze in his mouth.

So...it was supposedly all over. The mohel then showed us how to do the aftercare. Except Eli was still bleeding. He was freaking out and crying when we took off his diaper. The mohel said he had knicked a vessel and we had a "bleeder." Josh, who can't handle blood and related phenomena/words, just about passed out on the bed as there was A LOT of blood coming out of our wee one's junk. The mohel tried to stop it by applying pressure. Didn't work. Eli was very unhappy and started crying and screaming more. The mohel then attempted to clamp it. First time, it didn't work. Eli is now SCREAMING louder than he's ever screamed before. I am holding his upper body as still as I can and crying my eyes out while the mohel is still working on trying to clamp the vein. The second time around he managed to do it. Still more ear-piercing, blood curtling SCREAMING from my 10 day old baby. But at least he stopped the bleeding. It was just horrible.

But apparently, this can happen. No one told me that. All along, I've been told, it's no big deal. And, it's worse for you than him. No way. I mean, it was horrible for me, but it was AWFUL for him. I never want to do that again. Seriously, if we have another boy, I don't think I can do that again. I'd much prefer he make his own informed decision later in life. (This will not make the Jewish relatives happy, but whatever.)

Sorry to those of you with a similar situation. I understand this is relatively common, but doesn't happen every time and that where Eli was bleeding was a little unusual and pressure usually fixes the situation. So it's not usually as bad as our experience, I guess, even when there is a "bleeder."

And, just so you know, everything is seemingly fine now. The bleeding has stopped. There has been less crying with every diaper change. And the pediatrician said everything looks fine. We, luckily, had an appointment the day after, so we had her take a looksie. So, sigh of relief. All I could think was, how could I have done this to my new baby. I just can't believe that such a procedure is such an integral part of my religion.

In happier news...our baby is a total piggie and now weighs 11 lbs 5 oz. Most babies have only regained their birth weight at two weeks, but ours has gained almost a full pound over that.

Boobs...

are all I see. Everywhere I look. Actually, everyone I've encountered since Saturday has seen my boobs, but now everything is looking like boobs to me. This morning, I woke up (or rather, I woke up in the middle of the night to little baby noises wondering if it was time to feed again) and I saw what looked like a giant boob in front of me. It was the corner of my comforter.

Breastfeeding is really intense. Especially this early on when all babies do is EAT. (And sleep and poo/pee). I got some help from an AWESOME lactation consultant (actually, the third one I've talked to), so there is some progress, but things are ROUGH in the middle of the night. I think we are both tired and cranky. Also, this kid eats A LOT. I have been told I am a "prolific" milk producer (there is milk EVERYWHERE, on every surface, on everyone's clothes, and, for a while now, there's been some in my hair). Which I have to be so that my kid doesn't starve.

Also, Eli got back up to his birth weight in 5 days, according to the pediatrician yesterday. On average, babies take 2 weeks. He is a piggie. I am ALWAYS starving. But since someone is sharing my calories, it is kind of awesome that I never feel guilty about eating. I think I'll do some more right now!

To show off...Eli's first night at home...

Eli and Daddy after Eli's first night at home...

We have the most beautiful boy in the world.

I love him to pieces. All 10 pounds, 8 ounces, and 22 inches of his punctual self, born, via C-section after my water miraculously broke on his due date, Saturday, April 12th. (Also, water breaking is gross. Of course.)

Here is a picture that requires me to do the least amount of work to share with you. I don't think it actually does him justice. He is GORGEOUS.


Also, surgery sucks...but I was able to muster a smile for my little cutie...along with proud papa...



Breastfeeding is hard. I am eternally on the verge or tears. And my boobs are gigantic. Righty in particular is seriously engorged.


I have never been so exhausted in my life and it's only been almost 4 days...of 10:53 am today (though I started writing this post yesterday...so how do they date it? I don't care. It's April 16th to me.).

I miss you all but may never talk to you again b/c I'm going to be busy with baby Eli FOREVER (ok, a little dramatic, but there you have it).

Kisses and hugs to you all!

BTW, sorry if my text messages to you got messed up. I have no idea what the deal was with my inability to correctly text...oh, well, I guess I have been otherwise occupied...

Here's the story...

Went to the dr yesterday. Still not dilated at all nor has the baby dropped. The doc measured my belly. In less than a week, it gained two centimeters (even though I actually lost weight this week). He said, These are the kinds of measurements I see with multiple births. He also said, This is the largest singleton belly I have ever seen. So, we discussed. His big fear is shoulder dystocia. He said that the head is very squishy and tends to fit no matter what, but that the shoulders can cause a problem. (Did I tell you about that already? At a previous appt, he had told me about a case of shoulder dystocia that he dealt with that worked out just fine for mom and baby but wasn't a very pleasant experience.) He said something like, The baby is healthy, you are healthy, but I am worried about getting him out of you. He also said something like, If I really thought this were a nine pounder we're dealing with, I'd be cool with a vaginal delivery, but I think we're dealing with 10 or 11 pounds. And, I gotta say (this is me talking) that I am worried about it too. So, we have decided to go with a c-section. However, given the popularity of scheduled c-sections, the earliest date we could schedule it for is April 22nd - 10 days after my due date! The doc thinks I'll actually go into labor before that. If that happens, the plan stays the same; I just get to experience labor some, and Eli gets to decide his own birthday.

I know that tiny women give birth to huge babies seemingly all the time - though I also have heard stories of the opposite. And I don't think I'm going to be on the news or in the Guinness book of world records b/c of the size of this baby, but I just feel really nervous about a vaginal delivery of what seems to be a sizeable baby and way more comfortable with a c-section. I know the hippy in me is supposed to be totally anti-c-section unless I am about to die or something, but I'm not. I guess I am simultaneously disappointed and relieved not to go through a vaginal delivery.

So, that is my/our decision. I have been kind of nervous to tell you all. I know you have strong opinions about this kind of stuff, but I am not going to change my mind. I'd really just appreciate support (if you care to give it) and don't really want to hear about why I shouldn't do this. I know all those things, and I still made this decision.

One last thing: I feel like this post is so horribly dramatic and serious, and I have felt like it's a serious decision and I haven't taken it lightly. But in the end, we get our baby! And no later than April 22nd! So yay!

Still nothing.

Last night was less than pleasant. I ended up sleeping on the couch pretty much all night b/c I felt so bad about my pregnancy-induced snoring (that I hope will go away when the kid arrives!) keeping Joshie up every night. Basically, we end up taking turns on the couch these days. My cough wasn't so bad until early this morning, but then, when it started calming down, Eli decided that I wasn't allowed to have any more sleep and started beating up my internal organs. He was going so bonkers in there that I threw up in my mouth twice. (Sorry, gross, I know.) Kid, there is just not room in here for two of us anymore. Get out!!!

Also, I have a dr's appt today...PLEASE let me be dilated or SOMETHING!

I got nothing for you.

Just sitting here waiting...trying to pay attention to the diss for a few hours before I resume my lying down. Sleeping is getting more difficult than ever - and is not aided by the fact that I now have a cough/sore throat. I wish THAT were a sign of impending labor, but, try as I might, I can't find it in any of the baby books/websites!

Still pregnant...

with four days to go before I get REALLY complain-y about it.

Though lying around not doing work isn't so bad, really. Actually, it's awesome - even if the getting up to do anything part is rather difficult.

FORTY-FIVE (45!) CENTIMETERS

Here is the belly in all 45 centimeters of its glory!


Yes, those are (new) stretch marks - I've had stretch marks for as long as I can remember, but now I have new ones to join the old ones. I was never really worried about the whole stretch mark deal as I am not one to expose the belly - other than while it's full of baby. In fact, my belly hasn't seen the light of day since I was about 5 years old (except for that ill-advised monokini summer back in the day...who let me do that?) Also, the belly button is holding strong and refuses to pop out! So no exciting deep belly-button cleaning for me.

Oh, and at my appointment yesterday, we found out I am not dilated AT ALL, and the kid hasn't dropped AT ALL. I think he is VERY comfortable. This one looks like he's holding on for the long haul...

Anyway, thank you so much for the praise yesterday! It's just what I wanted!

Praise me!

As of this morning, I have officially worked out 5 days a week for 39 weeks of pregnancy. Ok, I missed a few days early-ish on while I was in Madison, but otherwise, I have had my butt at the gym. (Thank God for the elliptical machine. I wish I could elliptical everywhere rather than walk. It is WAY more comfortable.) Now tell me how impressive I am!

We'll see what happens next week, but it seems that, however labor and delivery go, being in better shape can't hurt.

8 days till D-Day...

38 weeks and 4 days...

That means 10 days to go until the magical due date.* And I can't concentrate for more than 20 minutes at a time. I hate you, dissertation. But even more so, I hate feeling guilty about the fact that it's getting so hard to keep working on it. Shame spiral!

Also, I apparently turn mean after 10 pm. Stay away from me.


*Which, of course, doesn't really mean all that much since a lot of first births are late...speaking of which...still not sure how the birth is happening, but it looks like we're going to aim for a non-c-section and hope the kid fits.