Did I say owwww yesterday? Because what I really meant was Holy-crap-in-all-the-world-and-the-heavens-above-ouch! today

Yeah. I hurt. And yet I went to the gym again this morning. I hobbled on over there, and by the time I made it, I think I was walking relatively normally (except for any time I had to step up or down). I saw Dan and he said, Oh good, you're walking today! And then he said, I can't believe you came here for cardio today. Yeah, I'm trying to be hardcore, I said, And maybe doing the treadmill or something will help loosen me up. He and the guy he was with kind of laughed and said, Yeah. Um...Ha ha ha, yeah, is right. I somehow survived on the elliptical and the treadmill. The treadmill was more painful than the elliptical, weirdly. But now I have stiffened up (Is this what my mother always feels like? Poor thing!) and I can barely get out of my chair to go to the bathroom. And then when I'm in the bathroom...omg! I have to brace myself to squat on down...and then it just hurts to sit there as if my butt were bruised or something...and then getting back up...oh my.

So Dan says that we'll stop hurting so badly from working out in about a week or so. Okay...he better be right. In the meantime, I will just moan softly to myself (and to Scabbers, the friendly mouse currently living in our kitchen, at least until the management company folks come by tomorrow).

Owwwwwwww!

So, as you may be aware, I've been quite gym-y lately. Part of it has been just to get out of the house and interact ever so slightly with the outside world. Part of it, of course, has been health and weight related. I thought I was doing a good job. I have been doing the elliptical/walking on the treadmill (these legs DO NOT run!) 3 times a week and lifting (just upper body stuff) twice a week. I decided my legs were getting enough from the cardio and that my abs just didn't exist in all of this. I could see my arm and chest muscles getting bigger (and even a little scary - especially if I could remove all the flab that was trying to hide them) and was impressed with that. And then...for some ungodly reason...I thought it might be a good idea to have a few sessions with a trainer just to make sure I knew what I was doing, etc. So I asked Dan, a trainer at the gym, about his rates, etc., for Josh and me together. He was uber-reasonable and was always the friendliest person to me at the gym, so I thought cool.

Dan the trainer:



Josh and I met him yesterday for a trial session. We did chest and triceps. Holy crap. Owwww! That man just about killed us! We did about...5 different chest exercises and 3 separate triceps exercises. Um...I didn't realize there was that much chest to work. But apparently there is. I can feel parts of my chest I didn't realize were there. And I thought I was working hard(ish) on my own, but apparently not. Or at least this man has the capacity to kill me in a way that I'd never be able to do to myself (and I'd never be able to get Josh to do even a quarter of what Dan can get him to do. And Josh is even chipper around Dan at the gym...Josh has NEVER been chipper at the gym before! Especially not early in the morning!) So today, if I were to find myself lying face down on the floor, which actually sounds rather tempting, I'm not sure how I'd get up. It's even worse now that we went again today (at 6:30 am!) and did legs. Owwww! He had me do some insane-o inner thigh stuff and a machine called "the butt blaster" which almost made me puke/cry, plus squats, leg presses, etc. I could barely make it up the steps to get out of the weight room. I thought, I'm stuck here forever! And then making it down the couple of steps out of the building was even worse. My jelly legs almost gave out. I clung to the railing for dear life. And then Josh and I hobbled home more slowly than we'd ever gone before.

So now I am sitting at my computer feeling my inner thighs way more than I've ever felt them before and noticing which arm muscles actually help with typing. Owwww. We're going to be doing this 3 times a week for I'm not sure how long. But I can't imagine how people exist if they are this sore every day of their lives. And yet I am kind of loving it and finding Dan and his training ways incredibly addictive. Josh agrees. Can't you just see Josh and me all buff and oiled up in a few years in a competition? No? YES!!! Okay, no. But hopefully it will get easier to walk home from the gym after a session like today...eventually.

Oooh, Tommy

Holy crap. The Who's Tommy (the movie) is on tv right now. I am both entranced and repulsed by it. All of the synthesized-y-ness is just too much to take and yet it is awesomly awesome. And then the imagery in the movie...RIDICULOUS! RIDICULOUS! And I haven't even made it to the part yet where Ann Margaret is rolling around in beans (yes, beans, baked beans, I think) in head-to-toe white mesh. It's like a white mesh onesie. It's out of control.

Ooh...found pictures, pre- and post-beans.





So gross!



And this is reminding me of how, at Greg's wedding, I was somehow reminded of Uncle Ernie, the pedophile uncle who "fiddles about" with Tommy, and asked his mom if Uncle Ernie was the right name. Why? I don't even think I can blame the booze.

Ok...now I think repulsed is the more correct descriptor...

PS: Thanks to the cuties. The slump is slightly less slumpy. I appreciate your support!

In a slump

Today's one of those days, I guess. Started off kind of crappy. I had bad dreams. The kind where people were being mean to me but acting like they weren't and then I even yelled at a friend in a dream and told her to F-off. Whoa. I don't think I've ever done that in real life. In addition, slept kind of crappily b/c Joshie did. He's coming down with a cold or something and was all tossy-turny.

Then I went to the gym. At first I felt good. Maybe I look better in that shirt I was wearing, but then, it happened. Other women appeared. One was way smaller than me (but still plenty buff) and I wanted to look like her. Another woman came in and was definitely skinnier than me but hugely buff. And I wanted to look like her. My doughy arms lost all their impressiveness in comparison. (But then there was a skinny, skinny, skinny woman with tiny little balls of muscle on her scary arms and I didn't want to look like that.) There usually aren't very many women in the weight room of my gym. I guess I prefer it that way so I don't have to look at them and compare myself to them. I'm sure I shouldn't but whatever! It makes me realize a bit better how Josh feels. Lord knows there are all sorts of different forms of insanely buff men in there - from small and buff to HUGE and buff and only a few older guys who look a little bit soft. And I hear them sometimes talking about protein powder and it makes me want to puke right on them.

So now I'm attempting to do work and it's like pulling teeth again. I sent out that paper. I know, great. But now I'm back to the whole why-am-I-doing-this-again stuff relating to the diss. Just back to blech-y here. And I'm trying not to be. But I just want it to be the evening or the weekend or some other time when I've decided it's fine to forget work altogether and not even pretend like I'm going to do anything.

De-slump, already, will ya! Maybe I'll blow off work this afternoon and go to a coffee shop and Torah study. I do have an assignment from the rabbi, after all...

Spazz-o-rama

Holy crap. I am moments away from submitting my first stinking article to an actual stinking journal. I'm doing it by email so that it happens faster. I'm just waiting for the letter I sent myself to arrive so I can attach it...I know. Whatever.

But I'm spazzing. SPAZZING! I can't believe this is making me want to puke so much. I guess after...um...I can't even decide when to begin counting. Is it 4-ish years? This paper once was my master's thesis, which I defended December 2001. But of course it was a course paper in spring 2001 before that. And before that...you guessed it...a course paper in fall 2000. And it's been revised, oh, 7 gajillion times before after and between all of this. And now...out it goes into cyberspace.

What is taking so long for the document to arrive to my one email address so I can send it from school instead of gmail???

Oh lord...beep...there it is...

When I grow up, I want to be a...

chef. At least that's what I want to do this week. And I want my own cooking show. It'll be mostly vegetarian and also kosher (I'll have to actually pay attention to the whole cheese with rennet issue that I generally don't think about) but occasionally I might feel like fish. Probably only rarely b/c I don't like the slimeyness factor (which is why I don't actually cook meat even though if someone else cooks it, I'll eat it. I'm a barbarian and a wimp simultaneously, I know). Also I will cook in a small space, like my current closet of a kitchen and on a budget. Like real people in their actual crappy kitchens. And I will build an empire bigger than Rachael Ray's and be less annoying in the process! I know some people love her (Joshie), but she just gets on my last nerve - even if she has an occasional good idea for a recipe.

I know what you're thinking. Ok, not really, but I'll make a few guesses. For example, Yeah, good luck with that, might be something you've got in mind. Or maybe: I've eaten some of your cooking, and I was not impressed. There's also: Don't you have a different idea just about every time I talk to you? Yes. You're right. Last week it was personal shopping. I still think I'd be good at that. Actually, if there were only grad school for personal shopping, I'd be the superstar on the job market, I swear! And there was (still is) the muffin/baked goods and cute accessory store idea. And of course before that, I wanted to become a rabbi. That was before I even decided I was definitely converting. I know. Derrr/doy/duh! And also, it's like getting another PhD (or rather, a first PhD) to become a rabbi so that is NOT happening. But at least I can dream.

When I was younger, I used to fantasize about my crush-of-the-moment every night as I was trying to drift off to sleep. I know. Kind of disturbing about how boy-oriented I always was. Anyway, now it's job-related dreaming. Tonight, I think I'll go with the chef fantasy but maybe make it at a B&B. That's a good one...

First married Valentine's Day

I'm sorry if this makes you want to puke, but, as you are well aware, yesterday was VDay. And I had a Valentine. I actually had two, but I promised to keep one of them secret as per her request. Anyway, as on top of things as I am, I went to buy a card yesterday and found one that seemed to fit my general state of mind lately (forgetful, actually, though maybe incoherent or the opposite of...you know I can't even think of the word and that's exactly what I'm talking about! Maybe eloquent is what I want to say? Whatevs. Though this should make my meeting with the rabbi [you know I just typed "rabbit," whoops!] a hoot.). So I found this card, but then I saw a card "To my husband." Holy crap! I have a husband! I told the woman who rung me up that it was my first married V Day so I had to get the husband card. "And you can every year from now on," she responded. Made it slightly less exciting, but whatevs.

So we celebrated with a yummy, homemade (by me) dinner (baked barley with caramelized onions, shiitake mushrooms, and goat cheese - be impressed!) and wine and then, of course, Olympics-watching b/c someone (Joshie) is OBSESSED! In fact, Joshie might actually be a crazy sports fan if only we lived in some place like Finland where ski jumping is their football. Weird.

To tide you over

I had envisioned a post full of pix from my Madison trip, but it takes a while to upload the pictures and Joshie has found himself with a free afternoon and I want to take advantage of it. So until I can do something more spectacular, this should do the trick.

I give you...Sandwich Loaf.



Thanks to Kathy Sandefur for the idea and the internet for making it even grosser (tinting the frosting a "delicate green" and putting the cucumber scales on top). The yellow-y colored filling is egg salad and the orange-y colored one is homemade pimento cheese spread (=Miracle Whip+shredded cheddar+pimentos). Blech!

And the leaning-towerness of the whole thing is my bad. Or possibly due to the insane loaf of bread we bought, but whatevs.

Because I know you're dying to know

I arrived back in Philly last night alive and well. The only mildly interesting story relating to my journey is that the guy sitting next to me on the plane between Chicago and Philly was trying to convert me back to Christianity (though he didn't seem to particularly be a fan of Catholicism). When he wasn't doing that, he was writing a letter to his nephew who had become interested in Buddhism to...you guessed it...bring him back to the fold. Just leave us alone, dude!

Anyway, I have some pix on the camera that I am sure will be lovely to share, but I am being lazy and not digging around for the camera (nor have I put anything away yet). So I will respond to my "tagging" instead. Insert link here to Ang. (Ooh! I think I did it right!)

Four jobs I've had...
1. "Student" (that's what I've filled in the blank on more forms than I care to think about)
2. Research assistant (at Westat and UW)
3. Ice cream scooper (No, I never got sick of ice cream. Ever.)
4. Telemarketer (quit at lunch time)

Four movies I could watch over and over...
1. Waiting for Guffman
2. Clueless
3. Christmas Story
4. Eternal Sunshine

Four places I have lived...
1. Philly
2. Madison
3. Virginia (Charlottesville and Falls Church)
4. Delaware!

Four tv shows I love to watch...
1. Simpson's
2. Arrested Development
3. Buffy
4. House
5. Scrubs
6. Alias
7. Lost
8. Earl
9. Malcolm
10. Twin Peaks
11. What not to wear
Um...yeah. I like the tv. It likes me.

Four websites I visit daily...
1. Like Gwennie, friends' blogs obsessively
2. Google
3. cooking.com or some other recipe place
4. Weightwatchers.com!

Four fave foods...
1. Chocolate anything (almost)
2. Basically Mexican anything but especially...
3. Guacamole
4. Margaritas (Can I drink my food?)

Four places I'd rather be right now
1. Hanging with Joshie wherever
2. Hanging with my peops wherever
3. Hanging with my fam, again, wherever
4. Someplace where I never have to do work again but can still afford food (preferably Mexican), clothes, ridiculous accessories, shoes!, hair dye, etc. and be with the people I love. I am very gushy and lovey after my WONDERFUL trip to Madison seeing some of the people whom (?) I love most in the whole wide world! (And then I also missed Joshie and it made me think even more about how great he is and how freakin' lucky I am. So lucky/blessed/whatever you want to call it.)

Oh there's more...
Four favorite places I've ever been...
1. Madison (cheese-fest, I know)
2. Philadelphia (seriously, love fest!)
3. Spain
4. Italy

And I am tagging you, yeah you, if you bothered to read this far. So what's your dealio?